
Conflict happens. There’s no avoiding it. It shows up at work, at school, in our homes—and, yes, even in the church.
Many people try to ignore conflict, hoping it will just go away. It won’t. Ignoring conflict doesn’t eliminate it; it allows it to grow.
Pastor, when conflict surfaces in your ministry, you have to deal with it head-on—and deal with it quickly. Letting conflict fester is a costly mistake.
“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin and do not stay angry all day. Don’t give the devil a chance” (Ephesians 4:26–27 GNT).
That verse surprises some people. They ask, “Is it ever right for a Christian to be angry?” The answer is yes. Jesus became angry—and Jesus never sinned. There are times when anger is appropriate.
The issue isn’t whether you feel anger. The issue is what you do with it.
The Wrong Kind of Anger
The wrong kind of anger is unresolved anger. Scripture warns us not to let anger linger. When anger hangs on, it turns into resentment—and resentment hardens into bitterness. Bitterness is always sin.
Anger itself can be an appropriate response. If you love people, you will sometimes feel anger when you see them hurting themselves or others. But the Bible is clear: Deal with it quickly.
Unresolved conflict creates enormous stress. Many leaders carry pressure that isn’t coming from their workload—it’s coming from conflict they’ve avoided addressing.
The Only Way to Resolve Conflict
Here’s the solution—and you may not like it: confrontation.
There is no way around it. If you want to resolve conflict, you must confront it. That doesn’t mean confronting in anger. It means lovingly addressing the issue, speaking the truth in love, and doing it promptly.
Most people hate confrontation. The only ones who enjoy it are troublemakers. But avoiding confrontation doesn’t bring peace—it postpones peace.
When confrontation is necessary, Scripture gives us clear guidance: “Everyone must be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19 GNT).
Those are the three rules for confrontation. If you listen first and speak carefully, anger naturally loses its grip.
As you listen, try to hear the hurt behind people’s difficult behavior. Hurting people hurt people. When you understand someone’s pain, patience grows—and patience opens the door to resolution.
Doing Your Part
The Bible also reminds us that peace has limits. “As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18 NIV).
You are responsible for your part—not someone else’s. When you lovingly address the issue and speak truth with grace, you’ve done what God asks. The rest belongs to the other person.
Conflict doesn’t disappear on its own. But when you face it with humility, honesty, and love, God can use it to bring healing, growth, and even deeper unity in your ministry.
And that’s all God asks of you.