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Serving in an Unhealthy Situation

A couple I know was approached about working at a prominent Christian organization. They expressed appreciation for how much good the organization does, but declined the offer because they knew people who worked there used two phrases regularly: "we're miserable" and "around here, you just keep your head down and do your job." I have encountered a number of people recently who work in similarly unhealthy churches and Christian ministries. Dysfunctional Christian organizations often do good things on the outside while destroying those on the inside. Let me share some signs you might recognize if your church or organization is dysfunctional. 1. The church or organizational culture only values those leading and the function of the organization, not those serving. When ministry leaders see people as tools rather than partners, people are used to serve the purpose, rather than being part of the purpose. 2. The leader is the only one allowed to think. Followers are only supposed to implement, not anything more. All ideas have to be approved by the leader, and since the leader thinks only he/she has good ideas, no ideas come from the people. If the organization grows, but the leader's bandwidth does not, decisions are delayed because other leaders cannot make them. At one place they refer to the leader's office as "the black hole where ideas go to die." 3. The organization or church thinks everyone else is wrong and only they are right. Thus, there is no value in others. There is a narrow group of the acceptable and the "others" are not just wrong, they are stupid. Arrogance is almost always a mark of an unhealthy Christian organization. 4. People rationalize that the good they are experiencing is worth the abuse they are receiving. Often, it is not until they have stepped away from an unhealthy situation when they realize this was not true, and is one of the great lies Christians are led to believe -- that the end justifies the means. Dysfunctional organizations are towers of cards, looking and maybe doing good now, but they will fall. 5. People often know of the glaring character problems of the leader, but no one can speak truth to power. Many of these dynamic leaders are known for their anger, and the organization fears rather than addresses the anger. In the end, the leader is believed to be unquestionable due to academic, spiritual, ecclesiastical or some other power base. 6. Many times, the leader receives a pass for the negative fruit of his/her leadership because of some overwhelming characteristic: preaching ability, intelligence, ability to influence others, or more. Yet, the fruit remains below the surface, creating a culture toxic to all who swim downstream. If you are in an unhealthy Christian organization I would encourage you to consider that God may want you to leave it. My own standard is this: Will staying here hurt my walk with God or harm my family? Being at a place that "makes a difference" sounds good, but if you end up with a confused spiritual life or broken family, it is just not worth the price. If you believe you need to leave, start praying and looking for another ministry opportunity. This recognition of a different future will likely ease the daily pain and struggle, and help you face each day. However, if you believe God wants you to stay: 1. Don't be afraid. Fear makes you cower rather than live in courage. Recognize you are in an unhealthy organization, but don't become an unhealthy servant. 2. Make a difference. When I served in unhealthy places, I simply asked, "What can I do here, now?" And when you are not scurrying about in fear, you can get much done for the Kingdom. 3. Speak truth. Don't be afraid to tell the truth about the culture, and when appropriate, the leadership. There will probably be some pushback, or even retaliation, but as you tell the truth with grace and humility, you may be heard -- or it may reveal that you need to go. 4. Recognize the Lord may have other reasons for keeping you in your position. Perhaps you have another ministry in your city or church. If that is the case, contribute where you can in your job, recognize how it provides for your family, but focus your energies on that calling. I know some who continue to work in unhealthy organizations, but stay out of a devotion to their local church ministry or other calling. They endure the unhealthy organization to pursue their calling with joy. These are not easy answers. It may be some who are struggling in their places of service and don't know where to turn. I encourage you to pray and seek the Lord's wisdom in your calling. It may be that you will be called to do some difficult yet courageous things. This article comes from Baptist Press. Copyright (c) 2012 Southern Baptist Convention, Baptist Press. Used by permission. Get Baptist Press headlines and breaking news on Twitter (@BaptistPress), Facebook (Facebook.com/BaptistPress) and in your email (baptistpress.com/SubscribeBP.asp).

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Five Responses to Recover from a Failure

Five Responses to Recover from a Failure

Some days in ministry feel like Job 17:11: “My days are gone, and my plans have been destroyed, along with the desires of my heart” (NCV). You had a plan. You did the prep. You prayed. And then it still didn’t go the way you hoped.When that happens, the slide can be quick: defeat, then disappointment, then discouragement, then depression (What’s the use?), and then despair (Why keep serving?).If you’ve worked with people for any length of time, you’ve learned this the hard way: Jesus won’t let you down, but people will; sometimes you’ll even let yourself down. That acknowledgment doesn’t make you bitter. It makes you honest.Failure isn’t a surprise in ministry. It’s part of the training. The question isn’t whether you’ll ever fail. The question is what you do next.Here are five responses that help you recover without letting a failure take you out.1. Admit it; don’t deny it.One of the fastest ways to get stuck is pretending nothing happened.The Living Bible paraphrase says, “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance” (Proverbs 28:13).Admitting it doesn’t mean you’re disqualified. It means you’re honest.Try saying it out loud—at least to God, and to the right people:“I blew it.”“That didn’t work.”“I made a bad call.”You’ll feel the pressure drop the moment you stop fighting reality.2. Learn from it; don’t waste it.You can’t always prevent failure, but you can refuse to waste it.James 1:3–6 reminds us that rough roads grow patience and character—and that when we don’t know what to do next, God isn’t stingy with wisdom.When something falls apart, slow down and ask:What was I assuming?What did I ignore?What warning signs were there?What should I do differently next time?Sometimes failure forces you to get creative. Sometimes it forces you to re-evaluate. Sometimes it finally gets you quiet enough to listen to God.But here’s the point: If you don’t learn from a failure, you usually have to repeat the mistake.3. Let God redeem it; don’t believe it’s beyond repair.Here’s a grace-filled truth many leaders forget: God can take your greatest failure and turn it into your greatest strength.It’s not that God approves of the failure. It’s that God is not trapped by it. Scripture is full of leaders who didn’t just stumble; they cratered. And God still used them.If you’ve ever thought, “After what happened, I’m done,” remember this:God has a long history of rebuilding leaders.God has a long history of turning wounds into ministry.If you’ve failed publicly, you may need to rebuild trust slowly. If you’ve failed privately, you may need to confess and get help. Either way, redemption is not theoretical. It’s what God does.4. Refuse to make it final; don’t quit.Romans 8:28 doesn’t call failure “good.” But it does promise that God can work even the painful parts for good when you love him and keep walking in his plan.Failure becomes final when you stop getting back up.“You’re never a failure until you quit” is not just motivational talk; it’s spiritual reality. The enemy would love to take one hard season and turn it into a permanent identity.So if you’re in a rough stretch right now, hold onto this:Your story is still being written.Your calling is not erased by one chapter.The Lord is not finished with you.5. Get up and start again; don’t stay on the ground.Philippians 3:13 is one of the most hopeful passages for leaders who feel behind. Here’s how the Living Bible paraphrase puts it:“I am still not all I should be, but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead . . .”That doesn’t mean you rush back into the same patterns.It means you stand back up with humility and direction:You confess what needs confessing.You repair what can be repaired.You accept what can’t be changed.You take the next faithful step.Sometimes starting again is rebuilding a relationship. Sometimes it’s restarting a habit. Sometimes it’s returning to ministry after you’ve been knocked down. But it’s always the same spiritual posture: knocked down, not knocked out.If you’re carrying failure like a verdict, don’t. Let it be a teacher, not a label.Admit what’s true. Learn what you can. Let God redeem what feels wasted. Refuse to quit. Then take one clear next step. Today. That’s how leaders recover. Not by pretending it didn’t happen, but by getting back up and walking forward a little wiser than they were before.
The Courage to Receive Counsel

The Courage to Receive Counsel

“Stupid people always think they are right. Wise people listen to advice.” (Proverbs 12:15 (GNT)One of the hardest parts of leadership is this: You can love Jesus, love people, and still have blind spots.Some of those blind spots are obvious to everyone else. Some of them show up only under pressure: when you’re tired, when you’re criticized, when you’re under more stress than you can reasonably carry. And a few of them aren’t just unseen; they’re uninvited. You may not want to notice them, because noticing would mean changing.That’s one of the quiet mercies of God: He doesn’t leave pastors alone with themselves. He places people near us who can tell us the truth.Not the kind of “truth” that’s really just frustration or opinion. The kind that’s loving, specific, and aimed at our growth. The friend who says, “I think you’re discouraged, and it’s influencing how you’re leading others.” The spouse who says, “You’re present in the room, but you’re not really here.” The elder who asks, “Are you still praying like someone who needs God, or only planning like someone who needs control?”If nobody can speak honestly into your life, you’ll make avoidable mistakes. Not because you’re a bad leader, but because you’re a human leader. Isolation doesn’t protect you; it blinds you.So start your Monday with this question: Who has permission to tell you the hard thing?And just as important: Are you building the kind of relationships where that’s safe? If your circle only tells you what you want to hear, you may need to widen the circle—or deepen it.Proverbs says the wise listen to advice. Wisdom isn’t just what you preach; it’s what you’re willing to receive.Speaking truth takes courage. Receiving truth takes humility. Both are important elements of spiritual maturity and leadership.Pastor, if you want to be really brave this week, consider asking one trusted person in your life: “What’s one blind spot you think I might be missing right now?”
Three Leadership Qualities You Can Practice

Three Leadership Qualities You Can Practice

Nehemiah’s story in the Bible is good news for anyone who questions whether they have what it takes to be a leader.Nehemiah wasn’t a priest. He wasn’t a prophet. He wasn’t a builder. He was a cupbearer to a pagan king (Nehemiah 1:11). And God used him to rebuild what an entire nation had given up on.In Nehemiah 1:1–4, he gets a report that Jerusalem is still a mess. The people are in “great trouble and disgrace” (Nehemiah 1:3 NIV). The wall is broken down. The gates are burned.Before Nehemiah ever builds anything, you see the kind of man he is. And that’s always where God starts—with the heart before the work.Here are three qualities God looks for in leaders he uses. The best part? You can choose to practice and grow in these qualities.1) Develop sensitivity to what breaks God’s heart.When Nehemiah hears the report about Jerusalem, he doesn’t shrug. He sits down and weeps. He mourns, fasts, and prays (Nehemiah 1:4). Leaders don’t become leaders because they want a platform. They become leaders because they can’t ignore what God has put in front of them.In ministry, it’s easy to get insulated. You can spend your week putting out fires, managing budgets, and planning Sundays, and slowly lose touch with what people are actually carrying.But God often begins his leadership assignments with a burden.Pastor, what situation makes you stop and say, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be”? That may be the beginning of God’s call.God uses leaders who care about what God cares about.2) Build a reputation for dependability.Nehemiah is trusted by the king. That’s why he’s in the role he’s in. A cupbearer had to be loyal, discreet, and reliable. The king trusts him with his safety and with his confidence.And God often prepares leaders through ordinary faithfulness long before the “big assignment” shows up. God doesn’t hand responsibility to good intentions; he entrusts it to proven faithfulness.Jesus said, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much” (Luke 16:10 NIV).Before God hands you a larger burden, he watches what you do with the burden you already have.Dependability isn’t flashy, but it’s foundational:Do you keep your word?Do you show up when it’s hard?Do you finish what you start?Do people experience you as steady?You don’t need a bigger title to become more trustworthy. You need deeper integrity.3) Make yourself available when God calls.Nehemiah’s assignment was not convenient. Jerusalem was between 800 and 1,000 miles away. The job was dangerous. The politics were complicated. Opposition was real. Yet when the moment came, Nehemiah was willing to go.Here’s a leadership truth we don’t love, but it’s still true: God can do more with willingness than with raw talent.God is not mainly looking for ability. He’s looking for credibility, dependability, and availability.Availability is a choice.It’s the simple, costly prayer: “Here am I. Send me.”And it raises honest questions:Am I available to do something outside my comfort zone?Am I available to serve in a way that won’t earn applause?Am I available even if it disrupts my plans?Pastor, you don’t have to see every step to say yes to God.Nehemiah didn’t start with a construction plan. He started with a burden, a prayer life, and a willing heart.The kind of leader God uses is not the most talented person in the room. It’s the person who is sensitive to real need, dependable in character, and available when God says go.
When Pressure Is High, Let God Speak First

When Pressure Is High, Let God Speak First

“It was the first year of the reign of Darius the Mede, the son of Ahasuerus, who became king of the Babylonians. During the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, learned from reading the word of the LORD, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet, that Jerusalem must lie desolate for seventy years.” Daniel 9:1-2 (NLT)Prayer is one of God’s best gifts in a crisis, not because it helps you manage stress, but because it puts you back in front of the only one who can actually carry what’s too heavy for you.Daniel modeled that.When Daniel realized the clock was running out on Israel’s exile, he didn’t just feel hopeful. He also felt the gap: The people weren’t spiritually ready for what God was about to do. That burden drove him to prayer.But notice where Daniel started. He let God speak to him before he spoke to God.Daniel “learned from reading the word of the LORD, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet” (Daniel 9:2 NLT). Before he prayed, Daniel listened. Scripture steadied him, reminded him what God had already said, and gave him the right frame for what came next.That’s a word pastors need, especially on a Monday.When pressure is high, it’s easy to treat prayer like a quick download: “God, here’s what’s on fire. Please handle it.” But Daniel’s approach is slower and better. God speaks first. God moves first. God leads first. Then we respond.So how do you listen to God when problems and stress seem to be all around?You open the Bible—not to hunt for a verse to share, but to meet with the Lord.Here’s one simple way to do it today:Read a short passage (even a few verses).Sit with it long enough for the noise in your head to settle.Ask, “Lord, what are you saying to me?”Then pray one honest response based on what you just read.Daniel didn’t come to God ready to give a speech. He came ready for a conversation. And he let God set the tone.The more Scripture shapes you, the more your prayers will stop sounding like panic—and start sounding like trust.
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