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The Problem with Arrogant Pastors and 5 Ways Not to Be One

[caption id="attachment_19226" align="alignright" width="300"] Photo by Daniel Horacio Agostini.[/caption] Arrogance. Even writing a blog post on this almost guarantees comments about pots and kettles. And I get that. I'm as human as you are. And if we are all honest with ourselves, we would admit that it is a struggle for each of us in some way. However, sometimes to personally admit to our own arrogance, we need prodding. Why? Because we often become blind to our own faults. The reason it is so dangerous, especially for those of us in ministry positions, is that it can become a cancer to our ministry. I could, and I guess you could as well, name dozens of pastors whose arrogance and pride led them to a very public, very shameful fall. Arrogance stifles mission. It redirects the focus of our ministry to us instead of to a kingdom focus. And if left unchecked, our ministry will begin to exist for its purpose, not God's purposes. So what should we look for in our ministry as a sign that we could be headed down a very long, hard road? Here are five warning signs Jonathan Howe and I listed. You might have more, and I invite you to share them in the comments below. 1. Elitist Mentality: Your church is the only one you know doing things the right way. This pastor has seen some growth in the church because of a program or a new method. So the pastor tells everyone that the only way for their church to grow is to copy what they have done. And when they choose not to because it might not be what their church needs, they are written off as an ineffective church. Just because something works at one church doesn't mean it automatically will at another. Or...another pastor refuses to use anything the "big church" down the road is using. Even when members are leaving, the pastor refuses to change methods or adapt to the changing culture around the church. There is nothing wrong with trying new things in your church. Especially if you are plateaued or declining. But doing what everyone else is doing is not always the answer either. Find what works for your people. Serve them well. And if you see success, don't think you have cornered the market on what works in every other church. 2. Theologically Superior: You won't read authors from outside of your own theological stream. This pastor only reads recent heroes of the faith. The ones who think the same way, dress the same way, write the same way, talk the same way, and blog the same way. The result is that the pastor becomes a theological clone; donning theological blinders and refusing to even consider or examine other perspectives on theology. Fight this by reading a lot and reading people with whom you don't always agree. And read authors who are dead. Contemporary authors are very helpful and have written some great works in recent years, but read the classics too. Read Lewis and Calvin and Wesley and Edwards and Augustine. Your theology might not change, but you will become much more informed about it as a result. Be a lifelong learner. 3. Exclusionary Attitude: You refuse to partner with other local churches on community initiatives. The town square is being revitalized. Several churches in town are working together for the betterment of the community...except one. Because the pastor at First Church doesn't want to be seen as being soft on beliefs by working alongside a pastor who thinks differently, baptizes in another way, or believes something different about a non-gospel issue. As I've written, there are certain instances when partnering across denominational lines would be ill-advised. Community initiatives with fellow Christians are not those times. One of the most telling things about your church and you as a pastor is your reputation in the community. That leads us to... 4. Narcissistic: You are more worried about what people think of your church than what they think of your family. When this pastor attends school functions for the kids, they are more known as the pastor of First Church than as "Ella's parent" or "Jamie's spouse." Why is this? Because they introduce themselves as "Pastor of First Church" instead of just by their name. Be known as a good parent first. If you are known as a good parent to your kids and as someone who loves their spouse, the pastor thing will take care of itself. 5. Overly Competitive: You consider the church down the street your competition. A new family moves into the neighborhood, and as a good neighbor would, this pastor invites them to church. They try it out but end up joining the one down the street. So the pastor writes off the neighbors and holds a grudge against the other church for stealing prospects. Not every church is a good fit for every person. If the church down the street is reaching people and yours is not, it's likely not the other church's fault. I realize some will claim this is a result of watered-down theology at time, and that does happen. But more often than not, the reason other churches are reaching people in your community and your church is not is because you are not engaging your context-- while others are. Those are my five signs of an arrogant pastor. I know there are probably more, but we (including me) can work to avoid all of these.

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Three Leadership Qualities You Can Practice

Three Leadership Qualities You Can Practice

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When Pressure Is High, Let God Speak First

When Pressure Is High, Let God Speak First

“It was the first year of the reign of Darius the Mede, the son of Ahasuerus, who became king of the Babylonians. During the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, learned from reading the word of the LORD, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet, that Jerusalem must lie desolate for seventy years.” Daniel 9:1-2 (NLT)Prayer is one of God’s best gifts in a crisis, not because it helps you manage stress, but because it puts you back in front of the only one who can actually carry what’s too heavy for you.Daniel modeled that.When Daniel realized the clock was running out on Israel’s exile, he didn’t just feel hopeful. He also felt the gap: The people weren’t spiritually ready for what God was about to do. That burden drove him to prayer.But notice where Daniel started. He let God speak to him before he spoke to God.Daniel “learned from reading the word of the LORD, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet” (Daniel 9:2 NLT). Before he prayed, Daniel listened. Scripture steadied him, reminded him what God had already said, and gave him the right frame for what came next.That’s a word pastors need, especially on a Monday.When pressure is high, it’s easy to treat prayer like a quick download: “God, here’s what’s on fire. Please handle it.” But Daniel’s approach is slower and better. God speaks first. God moves first. God leads first. Then we respond.So how do you listen to God when problems and stress seem to be all around?You open the Bible—not to hunt for a verse to share, but to meet with the Lord.Here’s one simple way to do it today:Read a short passage (even a few verses).Sit with it long enough for the noise in your head to settle.Ask, “Lord, what are you saying to me?”Then pray one honest response based on what you just read.Daniel didn’t come to God ready to give a speech. He came ready for a conversation. And he let God set the tone.The more Scripture shapes you, the more your prayers will stop sounding like panic—and start sounding like trust.
The Kind of Leadership That Lasts

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Lead with Mercy When People Are Hurting

Lead with Mercy When People Are Hurting

Jesus’ ministry was all about mercy. He showed mercy everywhere he went.If you want to know what mercy-shaped leadership looks like, watch how Jesus meets people in three moments pastors face all the time: shame, disappointment, and death. Luke 1:78 says, “A new day will dawn on us from above because our God is loving and merciful” (GW). Because Jesus is merciful, you can’t just talk about mercy. Mercy has to shape the way you shepherd.Watch how Jesus treats the ashamed, how he answers disappointment, and how he speaks hope when death is close. Then go do the same in your ministry.1) When people mess up, protect their dignity and refuse to throw stones.In John 8, a woman is dragged into public shame. The religious leaders are not trying to restore her. They are trying to use her to trap Jesus.I love what Jesus does first. He slows the whole moment down, protects her dignity, and refuses to let her become a spectacle.When they keep on questioning him, he straightens up and says to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7 NIV). One by one, the accusers walk away. After they all are gone, he assures her he doesn’t condemn her and then says, “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11 NIV).Pastor, that is where mercy begins. Jesus refuses to shame her, but he does call her to change.That is the kind of mercy people trust.It tells the truth without public humiliation.It makes room for repentance.It offers a next step instead of a permanent label.And if you are honest, you need that mercy too. When you have stumbled, overreacted, or said something you wish you could take back, Jesus is not looking for a chance to shame you. He is ready to restore you.Jesus says, “I have come to save the world and not to judge it” (John 12:47 NLT). If you lead like a judge, people will hide. If you lead like a shepherd who has received mercy, people can finally be honest.2) When disappointment settles in, don’t let it harden you.A lot of anger is really disappointment that has been sitting too long. Pastors know that feeling.In John 5, a man has been lying by a pool for 38 years. That is a long time to live with disappointment. So when Jesus asks, “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6 NIV), the man does not really answer the question. He explains why nothing has changed: Somebody else always gets there first.Let disappointment sit long enough, and blame starts to feel normal. You stop expecting much. The heart gets hard.Jesus does not shame the man for that. He answers him with mercy: “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk” (John 5:8 NIV). Mercy gives him something to do, and the man walks.Pastor, sometimes the impossible is not a dramatic turnaround by Sunday. Sometimes it is the quieter miracle of staying soft when you have been let down, obeying God in the next small step, and refusing to let disappointment train you into cynicism.God’s mercy makes room for hope again.3) When death is close, offer people more than comfort; offer them mercy.Sooner or later, every pastor walks into a room where eternity is no longer theoretical: a hospital room, a graveside, or a conversation where death is suddenly close enough to touch.In Luke 23, two criminals hang beside Jesus. One mocks him. The other admits the truth: “We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong” (Luke 23:41 NIV). Then he says, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” (Luke 23:42 NIV).And Jesus answers, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43 NIV).That is more than comfort. It is mercy.It reminds you that the people in front of you do not mainly need better religious performance. They need a Savior, and so do you.So, pastor, carry mercy into the rooms waiting for you this week.Carry it into the hard conversation with the person who failed, into the long disappointment that is tempting you toward cynicism, and into the hospital room, the funeral, and the private places where fear gets loud.Mercy cannot simply be something you preach about. It has to shape the way you care for those you lead.Isaiah 30:18 says, “The LORD wants to show his mercy to you. He wants to rise and comfort you” (NCV). That is God’s word to your people.It is also God’s word to you.
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