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Four Ways a Pastor Can Show Love

Pastor, you set the tone and atmosphere in your congregation. If you want to know the warmth of your church, put the thermometer in your own mouth. I’ve visited some churches where the pastor’s lack of love is the main reason the church isn’t growing. Some pastors, by their cold demeanor and lack of personal warmth, virtually guarantee that visitors won't come back. And in some larger churches, I’ve gotten the impression that the pastor loves an audience but doesn’t like people. Great preaching without love is just noise in God’s view. Every time I speak to at Saddleback, I repeat a simple reminder to myself. I never preach or teach without thinking this: “Father, I love you and you love me. I love these people and you love these people. Love these people through me. This is not an audience to be feared but a family to be loved. There is no fear in love; perfect love casts out all fear.” Let me suggest some practical ways that you can demonstrate your love:

Memorize names.

Remembering names shows that you're interested in people. Nothing sounds sweeter to a second-time visitor than hearing you use his or her name. While I don't have a particularly good memory, I work hard at remembering names. In the early years of Saddleback, I took pictures of people and made flash cards to help me remember their names. I knew every person's name in our church up to about 3,000 in attendance. After that my brain fried. I ask new members in the membership class to tell me their names on three different occasions to help me remember it. When you work hard at remembering people's names, it pays great relational dividends.

Personally greet people before and after services.

Be approachable. Don’t hide out in your study. For the first three years of our church, we met in a fenced-in high school where everyone had to exit through the same gate. Each week, I personally greeted every person that came to our church. They couldn’t get out without passing by me! One of the best ways to warm up a crowd is to meet as many people as you can before you speak to them. Get out among the crowd and talk to people. It shows you are interested in them personally.

Touch people.

At Saddleback we believe in a high-touch ministry. We give a lot of hugs and handshakes and pats on the back. Today our society is filled with lonely people who are starving for the affirmation of a loving touch. So many individuals live by themselves and have told me the only loving physical contact they ever get is at church. When I hug somebody on Sunday morning, I often wonder how long that hug will have to last. Study the ministry of Jesus and you see the powerful affect of giving people a look, a word, and a touch. Look people in the eyes when you talk with them. Eye contact says, "You matter to me." Give everyone a word of encouragement. Offer a warm, personal touch to show you really care.

Use a warm, personal style in writing to visitors.

We have a series of letters I've written to first-time, second-time, and third-time visitors, telling them how glad we are to see them. I don't sign them with "Dr. Warren" or even “Pastor Warren.” I simply sign them as "Rick." I want visitors to feel they can relate to me on a first-name basis. If you send a letter to visitors, write it like you talk to people, not in stilted, formal language. I received a visitor letter once that said, “Our church would like to acknowledge your presence with us last Sunday and extend to you a cordial invitation to return on the next Lord’s Day.” Does anyone really talk like that? Instead say, "It was really great to have you. Hope you can come back.” One of the most important issues every pastor must decide is whether you want to impress people or influence them. You can impress people from a distance but you have to get up close to people to love and influence them.

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Walking a Different Path—and Why It’s Worth It

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“Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless person living on earth at the time, and he walked in close fellowship with God.” Genesis 6:9 (NLT)Pastor, if you want to keep fulfilling your calling—and stay faithful in a world that’s resistant to the gospel—you must be willing to walk a different path than the surrounding culture.That’s not always easy, especially on a Monday morning. Maybe Sunday didn’t go the way you hoped. Maybe you’re wondering if anyone was really listening. Maybe you're tired. But your faithfulness, even in weariness, is exactly what God notices.Noah’s generation was in full rebellion against God. Genesis 6:12 says, “God observed all this corruption in the world, for everyone on earth was corrupt” (NLT). That must have felt incredibly isolating for Noah—yet he stayed the course. The Message paraphrase says it like this: “Noah was different. GOD liked what he saw in Noah” (Genesis 6:8).Let that sink in: God liked what he saw in Noah.Would he say the same of you today? Absolutely. When you preach the Word even when people don’t respond, when you pray over your congregation with love, when you lead with integrity even when it's hard—God sees. And he smiles.You don’t have to be flashy. You don’t have to go viral. You don’t even have to feel effective. Keep doing what God calls you to do. That’s what set Noah apart. He walked with God, even when the rest of the world walked away.As our world moves further from God, pastors like you shine all the brighter. Your steady, faithful ministry matters more than you realize.
Before You Say Yes: 3 Questions Every Pastor Should Ask

Before You Say Yes: 3 Questions Every Pastor Should Ask

“If any of you needs wisdom to know what you should do, you should ask God, and he will give it to you. God is generous to everyone and doesn’t find fault with them.”James 1:5 (GW)You’re likely reading this on a Monday. Yesterday, you poured your heart for your congregation—preaching, shepherding, and leading your people. Now, you’re tired. God wants you to get your proper rest. If you’re burning the candle at both ends, you’re not as bright as you think you are. You’re going to burn out!Every week, you’re probably offered more ministry opportunities than you could take on in a month. That counseling appointment, that community invitation, that extra meeting—they’re all good things. But without wisdom, even good opportunities can become spiritual quicksand.When a new opportunity crosses your desk, take these three steps:Ask, “Is it worth it?” Will this serve the kingdom in the way God has wired you to serve? Is it worth the time, energy, and emotional bandwidth it will cost? Every “yes” is a trade—you’re giving away part of your life for it. Is it worth that kind of exchange?Ask, “What will I have to give up?” Saying “yes” to one thing means saying “no” to something else. Maybe your family. Maybe margin for prayer and reflection. Maybe the deep work God’s been calling you to. Make your “what-matters-most” list before you make your to-do list. Let God shape your priorities before your calendar does.Ask, “Should I just say no?” We’re used to running at the speed of crisis, but constant urgency isn't godly—it’s exhausting. Learning to say “no” is an act of faith. It’s trusting that God can lead your church better than you can. It’s believing your value isn’t in how much you do, but in who you are in Christ. If something isn’t on your “what-matters-most” list, it may be best just to say no.Remember, you don’t need to figure this all out on your own. James 1:5 promises that when we ask for wisdom, God gives it—generously and without shaming us for needing it.So take a breath, pastor. Take your list of opportunities to the Lord. Ask him for wisdom. Then choose what matters most—and rest knowing that obedience is more important than busyness.
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