Pastors.com
Four Ways a Pastor Can Show Love

Pastor, you set the tone and atmosphere in your congregation. If you want to know the warmth of your church, put the thermometer in your own mouth. I’ve visited some churches where the pastor’s lack of love is the main reason the church isn’t growing. Some pastors, by their cold demeanor and lack of personal warmth, virtually guarantee that visitors won't come back. And in some larger churches, I’ve gotten the impression that the pastor loves an audience but doesn’t like people. Great preaching without love is just noise in God’s view. Every time I speak to at Saddleback, I repeat a simple reminder to myself. I never preach or teach without thinking this: “Father, I love you and you love me. I love these people and you love these people. Love these people through me. This is not an audience to be feared but a family to be loved. There is no fear in love; perfect love casts out all fear.” Let me suggest some practical ways that you can demonstrate your love:

Memorize names.

Remembering names shows that you're interested in people. Nothing sounds sweeter to a second-time visitor than hearing you use his or her name. While I don't have a particularly good memory, I work hard at remembering names. In the early years of Saddleback, I took pictures of people and made flash cards to help me remember their names. I knew every person's name in our church up to about 3,000 in attendance. After that my brain fried. I ask new members in the membership class to tell me their names on three different occasions to help me remember it. When you work hard at remembering people's names, it pays great relational dividends.

Personally greet people before and after services.

Be approachable. Don’t hide out in your study. For the first three years of our church, we met in a fenced-in high school where everyone had to exit through the same gate. Each week, I personally greeted every person that came to our church. They couldn’t get out without passing by me! One of the best ways to warm up a crowd is to meet as many people as you can before you speak to them. Get out among the crowd and talk to people. It shows you are interested in them personally.

Touch people.

At Saddleback we believe in a high-touch ministry. We give a lot of hugs and handshakes and pats on the back. Today our society is filled with lonely people who are starving for the affirmation of a loving touch. So many individuals live by themselves and have told me the only loving physical contact they ever get is at church. When I hug somebody on Sunday morning, I often wonder how long that hug will have to last. Study the ministry of Jesus and you see the powerful affect of giving people a look, a word, and a touch. Look people in the eyes when you talk with them. Eye contact says, "You matter to me." Give everyone a word of encouragement. Offer a warm, personal touch to show you really care.

Use a warm, personal style in writing to visitors.

We have a series of letters I've written to first-time, second-time, and third-time visitors, telling them how glad we are to see them. I don't sign them with "Dr. Warren" or even “Pastor Warren.” I simply sign them as "Rick." I want visitors to feel they can relate to me on a first-name basis. If you send a letter to visitors, write it like you talk to people, not in stilted, formal language. I received a visitor letter once that said, “Our church would like to acknowledge your presence with us last Sunday and extend to you a cordial invitation to return on the next Lord’s Day.” Does anyone really talk like that? Instead say, "It was really great to have you. Hope you can come back.” One of the most important issues every pastor must decide is whether you want to impress people or influence them. You can impress people from a distance but you have to get up close to people to love and influence them.

Recent Articles

Five Ways to Slow Down Before You Burn Out

Five Ways to Slow Down Before You Burn Out

There have been times when I thought I was too busy to take time off. It never worked.You don’t have to be a prophet to know that technology has made three things happen in the world: It has made the world smaller, more complex, and faster. You live a much faster lifestyle than your parents did. Your children will live an even faster lifestyle than you do.As you and I know, pastors aren’t immune to these time pressures. With meetings, ever-shrinking sermon preparation time, and a crowded pastoral care schedule, our office calendars can stay full if we’re not careful. Then we get home and rush our kids to after-school events, grab a quick dinner, run to the hospital, go home, jump in bed, and hope there are no late-night phone calls.We can identify with what a USA Today article once said about life for many people: “Today people are souped up, stressed out, and overscheduled. In this brave new world, boundaries between work and family are disappearing. Everybody is mobile, and every moment is scheduled.”The Bible tells us that hurry, worry, and scurry have dramatic negative effects on our lives and ministries. If you’re serious about slowing your life down to a more humane pace, you’re going to have to make five countercultural changes to your lifestyle.1. Learn contentment. It starts in the heart. Paul says this about contentment: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Philippians 4:12 NIV). Contentment isn’t part of human nature—for pastors or for anyone else! We want life to be different—better. But we can’t slow down our lives unless we start being content with what we have.Contentment doesn’t mean you don’t want your church to grow. It doesn’t mean you don’t go after your God-given vision for your church. It just means a bigger church won’t make you any happier. Your relationship with Christ is where you find your true joy. Until you come to that conclusion, you won’t slow down.2. Obey the fourth commandment. Most of us would bristle if we were told that we were consistently breaking the Ten Commandments. But, pastor, many of us are. Remember the fourth commandment? We're supposed to take one day off every week. Are you doing that? For most of us, that’s not Sunday. We’re preaching, meeting with people, and overseeing worship services—we’re not resting. It doesn’t matter which day it is, but we need a day off.During the times that I’ve worked constantly—without taking time off—things always just got worse. I became more irritated with my family. I became more tired. And I didn’t get as much done. It was so prideful of me to think that what I was doing at that moment was more important than listening to what God said about how he made me.I know a pastor who had a church member get mad at him because he tried to call him several times on Monday and couldn’t get ahold of him. The pastor said, “Sorry, but that’s my day off.” The member said, “The devil doesn’t take a day off.” And the pastor replied, “You’re right. And if I didn’t, I’d be just like the devil.”3. Pause and pray before deciding. Stop and pray about the decisions you make on a regular basis. That doesn’t mean you wait a year before deciding something. I’m talking about 10 to 15 seconds. As you sit in an elders’ meeting or a counseling session, ask, “God, what do you want me to do in this instance?”How does this help you slow down? You’re pausing to get perspective. Perspective is what helps you make wise decisions. Most of us just want to make decisions faster, but it’s perspective that really makes better decisions.4. Learn to say no. You can’t keep adding things to your schedule without eliminating other things. Every time you add a new activity to your schedule, you need to take something else off the calendar. Whenever I used to see one of my mentors, Peter Drucker, he would say, “Don’t tell me what new thing you’re doing. Tell me what you’ve stopped doing.” The mark of leadership is knowing what not to do.Most of us have a hard time saying no to opportunities. So ask yourself two questions every time you’re given a new opportunity:Is it worth it? With every opportunity, you need to ask yourself whether it’s worth your energy, effort, reputation, and ultimately, your time. Your time is your life, and you need to decide whether the new opportunity is worth a portion of your life.What am I going to give up? You can’t just keep adding, adding, and adding. You have to give something up to take hold of a new opportunity. What will it be?5. Trust God’s timing. Impatience is often why we hurry. But impatience is simply a lack of trust. When you’re impatient, you’re saying, “God, I don’t really trust you. I don’t think you have my best interest at heart. You don’t know when I need it, and I’m in a hurry.” Is fast always better? No, it’s not.God has a plan for your life. You know that. But he also has a timetable for your life—and for your church, for that matter. Unfortunately, God never explains his timetable. And that can be frustrating! At Saddleback, we waited for years to get our own land and our own building. I couldn’t understand God’s timing. But God knew exactly what he was doing. Our church campus is visible from one of the busiest freeways in our community—a freeway that didn’t exist when we first started looking for land. That’s God’s timing.It’s painful when you’re in a hurry and God’s not. But it’s part of maturing and growing up. Children have to learn the difference between “no” and “not yet,” and we have to learn that too as we follow God’s lead. God knows the right time and the right way. He has a plan and a timetable.Ministry is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. God doesn’t want you to burn out. Whether you’re 30 or 70, he has purposes he wants to complete through you—and burnout won’t help you be ready for that work. Learning to slow down might be the most important ministry skill you learn this year.
Lead without Fear—the Lord Is for You

Lead without Fear—the Lord Is for You

“The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” (Psalm 118:6 NLT)Pastor, God is calling you to be a promise person—someone who chooses to focus on him and his promises even when ministry gets tough.If you’re leading anything that truly matters, criticism will come. People may misunderstand your decisions, question your motives, or resist your leadership. It’s part of shepherding people toward spiritual growth.But you don’t have to focus on the naysayers or the challenges that come with leadership. Focus instead on the Lord and his promises.Jesus modeled this perfectly: “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23 NIV).When criticism comes, resist the urge to defend yourself or vent your frustration. Instead, entrust yourself—and your ministry—to God. Pray, “Lord, I know you love me. I know you called me. I’m going to trust you with both the work and the outcome.”That’s the kind of mindset David had when he wrote, “The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” (Psalm 118:6 NLT). You don’t need anyone else’s approval to keep serving faithfully. The Lord is for you, and his opinion is the one that matters most.In the Message paraphrase, David says, “I’ve banked your promises in the vault of my heart” (Psalm 119:11). That’s the secret to staying steady when criticism or fatigue sets in: Keep storing up God’s promises until they outweigh the voices of doubt.So this week, take time to meditate on God’s promises. Write them down. Memorize them. Remind yourself that your worth and success come from his call, not from anyone’s applause.The Lord is for you. Trust his promises—and lead with courage and peace.
Trust God’s Promises as You Lead

Trust God’s Promises as You Lead

“The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” (Psalm 118:6 NLT)Pastor, God is calling you to be a promise person—someone who chooses to focus on him and his promises even when ministry gets tough.When you’re leading something that truly matters, criticism will come. People may misunderstand your decisions, question your motives, or resist your leadership. It’s part of shepherding people toward spiritual growth.But you don’t have to focus on the naysayers or the challenges that come with leadership. Focus instead on the Lord and his promises.Jesus modeled this perfectly: “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23 NIV).When criticism comes, resist the urge to defend yourself or vent your frustration. Instead, entrust yourself—and your ministry—to God. Pray, “Lord, I know you love me. I know you’ve called me. I’m going to trust you with both the work and the outcome.”David understood this when he wrote, “The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” (Psalm 118:6 NLT). You don’t need anyone else’s approval to keep serving faithfully. The Lord is for you, and his opinion is the one that matters most.In the Message paraphrase, David said, “I’ve banked your promises in the vault of my heart” (Psalm 119:11). That’s the secret to staying steady when criticism or fatigue sets in—keep storing up God’s promises until they outweigh the voices of doubt.So this week, take time to meditate on God’s promises. Write them down. Memorize them. Remind yourself that your worth and success come from his call, not from anyone’s applause.The Lord is for you. Trust his promises—and lead with courage and peace.
The Art of Delegation in Ministry

The Art of Delegation in Ministry

Read any book on time management, and you’ll find this advice about delegating: You can’t do everything. The quickest way to burn out is to try to be Superman.Your highest calling as a pastor is to shepherd the spiritual health and growth of your people. If you’re all wrapped up in who’s printing the bulletins and who’s staffing the nursery, you’ll get sidetracked from your primary calling. Delegation helps you keep ministry and administration in balance.Leading with Limited ResourcesDuring the early years of Saddleback Church, I realized I needed someone who could handle administrative details—someone who could carry out the vision daily. So we brought on an executive pastor, whose gifts in administration and organization helped our church thrive.If your church has the resources to add someone like that, do it. But if you don’t, equip gifted volunteers to fill those gaps.At Saddleback, we used the acronym SHAPE to help place people in ministry:- Spiritual Gifts- Heart- Abilities- Personality- ExperiencesOnce you know a person’s SHAPE, you can delegate tasks confidently and give them freedom to accomplish goals creatively.Keys to Delegating EffectivelyI’ve found three simple keys that have helped me delegate well:Break down major goals into smaller tasks. When we started Saddleback, everyone had a specific job. One person managed the bulletins; another set up the nursery. Everyone had ownership.Develop clear job descriptions. People deserve to know what’s expected of them.Match the right person with the right task. The wrong person in the wrong role can kill motivation. The right match brings joy and productivity.Delegation is more than passing off work. It’s about understanding the task, knowing people’s strengths, and setting them free to use their creativity.Equipping People for MinistryAt Saddleback, we had great volunteer teams that modeled this kind of shared ministry. One team helped research stories and examples for my sermons; another created executive summaries of books to lighten my load. These ministries weren’t my idea—they were theirs. That’s the power of delegation. When leaders trust others, they unlock creativity and energy that no single person could generate alone.As pastors, we’re not called to do all the ministry ourselves. Every believer is a minister. Our role is to identify each person’s SHAPE and help them use it in service to God. That’s when we most closely follow Jesus’ example of servant leadership.
© 2025 Pastors.com All rights reserved.
PO Box 80448, Rancho Santa Margarita, CA 92688