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Pastor, you can spend your day listening carefully to church members and come home with nothing left to say. But your spouse, too, needs your time and attention, not just whatever remains after the last appointment.The Bible connects the way we treat our spouses with our relationship with God: “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7 NIV).How I treat my wife affects my prayer life. I can't separate the way I honor God from the way I treat her. Peter's directions are clear: Be considerate, share your life, and show respect.Understand what your spouse needsTo be considerate means to be thoughtful about another person's needs and feelings. Before I can meet my wife's needs, I have to understand them. That takes more than assuming she wants what I want.1 Corinthians 7:3 reminds us that husbands and wives have responsibilities to one another. Meeting your spouse's needs is part of marriage. But don't assume that what you would want is what your spouse needs.I'm still learning about my wife. Understanding her takes effort, no matter how long we've been married. Years of marriage don't excuse me from paying attention.Ask your spouse, “What makes you feel loved and special?” Don't assume you know the answer, or that what was true years ago is all your spouse needs today.Share your life, not just your mealsPeter tells husbands to live with their wives. That means more than occupying the same house. It means spending time together, developing mutual interests, doing things together, and becoming companions.We can compartmentalize our lives: This is my marriage, this is my work, this is my hobby. But your spouse is someone to share your life with, not someone who gets a few minutes between all the other things you're doing.Conversation is one of the ways you do that. I call it verbal attention. Show interest in your spouse's day, needs, and feelings by sitting together, making eye contact, and listening.Not every conversation needs to solve a problem or accomplish a goal. Sometimes the point is simply to talk and listen.You need to make time for it. Plan it.When our children were at home, Kay and I had a weekly date. At one point, we went out on Saturday nights after the service. But with three children, that became difficult, so we changed it.I worked Saturdays, and Monday was my day off. We began having our date on Monday morning while the children were at school. That was the time that worked for us.What you do on a date isn't the most important thing. Think back to when you were dating: The activity was often just an excuse to get together, talk, and show affection. Your marriage still needs that time.Show appreciation for your spousePeter also tells husbands to respect their wives. Show that respect in your words and actions.I don't think you can give your spouse too much honor as long as Jesus Christ remains first in your life. That love isn't a distraction from obeying him. It's something he has told you to do.The more I appreciate my wife, the more I value her. Tell your spouse what you appreciate most. Don't let familiarity become an excuse to stop saying it.This week, put time with your spouse on your calendar; don't wait to see what time is left after everything else. Then ask your spouse, “What do you need?” And listen to their answer.

“God, who supplies seed for the sower and bread to eat, will also supply you with all the seed you need and will make it grow and produce a rich harvest from your generosity. He will always make you rich enough to be generous at all times, so that many will thank God for your gifts which they receive from us. For this service you perform not only meets the needs of God’s people, but also produces an outpouring of gratitude to God.” (2 Corinthians 9:10–12 (GNT)Pastor, the needs in front of you may look larger than the resources in your hands. There are people to care for, leaders to develop, ministries to support, and a community to reach. It can be easy to look at what you have and think, “This isn’t enough.”But what God gives to you, he wants to give through you.Paul says God supplies seed to the sower. He gives you the seed and stays involved in the outcome. In other words, he supplies what you need, makes it grow, and uses it to produce a harvest.This promise starts with God’s supply, not abundance in your hands.Some of the most important things you give in ministry may seem ordinary: time to listen, a word of encouragement, a faithful prayer, or your full attention. When you offer those things to God, he can use them to meet someone’s need.Don’t wait until you think you have more. Offer God what he has already placed in your hands.When you do that, God promises to use it. You will grow spiritually. He will meet needs through you. And people will thank God for what they receive.Pastor, you don’t have to supply every need. God is the supplier. Your part is to faithfully give what he puts in your hands.

A lot of ministry is done haphazardly.Not because pastors and ministry leaders don’t care. Usually it’s the opposite. They care deeply, so they keep trying to meet needs, support volunteers, continue programs, and respond to whatever is in front of them.But ministry is too important to run on “I’ll give it my best shot.”You’re dealing with changed lives. You’re helping people grow toward maturity, serve in ministry, and live on mission. That kind of work deserves more than scattered effort and inherited assumptions.The Bible says, “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33 KJV). God brings order. God arranges the parts of the body. God gives gifts, roles, purposes, and direction.So before you add energy to the church—or to any ministry inside it—define it.Every ministry in your church needs a clear purpose. If you lead the whole church, help each ministry know its assignment. If you lead one ministry, clarify what God has entrusted to you.Ask what business you are inThe first question every ministry needs to answer is this: What is our mission?Or to say it another way: What business are we in?At Saddleback, our business was disciple development. We wanted to attract and win members, develop them to Christlike maturity, and mobilize them for meaningful ministry in the church and a life mission in the world. Our product was changed lives.That gave us a filter. It helped us know what fit and what didn’t. It helped us say yes to the right things and no to the wrong things.That is the kind of clarity every ministry in your church needs.A children’s ministry is not just in the childcare business. A small group ministry is not just in the meeting-scheduling business. A worship ministry is not just in the music business. A greeter ministry is not just in the handshake business.Each ministry needs to know what it is trying to produce in people.If you can’t state the mission clearly, you can’t lead it clearly. And if the leader is unclear, the volunteers will be unclear too.Decide what is none of your businessThe second question is just as important: What is none of our business?Most churches are better at adding than subtracting. A need appears, so a program gets added. A person has an idea, so an event gets added. A tradition begins, and 10 years later no one remembers why it started, but everyone feels guilty about stopping it.That is how ministry clutter grows.A clear ministry does not only know what it does; it knows what it does not do.You do not have to meet every need in the same way. You do not have to keep every program alive forever. You do not have to say yes to every good idea. A good idea can still be the wrong assignment for your church in this season.Before your church adds something this fall—or before your ministry adds one more event, meeting, or responsibility—ask, “Is this ours to do?” If the answer is no, you may be protecting the assignment God actually called you to lead.Focus saves energyFocus is not a small issue in ministry. It is one way you steward the strength God gives you.If you fire a shotgun, the pellets scatter everywhere. But if you focus energy like a laser, it has power. The more you focus on what you are trying to do, the less energy it takes.That is true in life. It is especially true in ministry.A scattered ministry wears people out because nobody knows what matters most. A focused ministry gives people confidence because the assignment is clear.Pastor, you do not have unlimited time this fall. Your volunteers do not have unlimited energy. Your church cannot carry every program at full speed.So define every ministry before you accelerate it.Tie every ministry to a purposeEvery ministry needs to connect to a purpose.Is the ministry helping you evangelize the community? Is it helping you exalt Christ in worship? Is it encouraging the congregation through care and fellowship? Is it edifying believers toward maturity? Is it equipping people for service?If a ministry does not clearly connect to one of the purposes of the church (worship, fellowship, discipleship, ministry, and mission), it will drift. It may still be busy. It may still have meetings. It may still have people who love it. But activity alone does not make a ministry healthy.The body of Christ is not random.Paul wrote, “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ” (1 Corinthians 12:12 NIV). Later in the same passage he says, “God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be” (1 Corinthians 12:18 NIV).That word arranged matters. God does not throw the body together. He arranges it.Your church needs that same kind of ordered thinking. The question is not just, “Do we have ministries?” The question is, “Does every ministry know its purpose, and are these ministries arranged around God’s purposes?”When every ministry knows its purpose, people stop competing and start contributing.Start with definition, then moveThe goal is not a busier church. The goal is changed lives. The goal is people growing to maturity, serving in ministry, and living on mission.That will not happen through haphazard activity.So before you restart the program, schedule the meeting, print the calendar, or recruit another volunteer, ask the defining questions for every ministry in your church: What is this ministry for? What is it not for? What purpose of the church does it support? What kind of person are we trying to help people become?Then move forward.Acceleration without clarification creates clutter. But when you define the ministry first, speed has somewhere to go.

Pastor, ministry can pull your life into pieces.You can feel the pull to be one person in the pulpit, another in a meeting, another at home, and another when you’re tired, criticized, or alone. Jesus calls you back to wholeness.If you’re going to live like Jesus, you’ve got to adopt the values he had—values like integrity and humility.Most people think integrity means being honest. And telling the truth is part of integrity, but integrity means more than that. Integrity comes from the word integral, meaning “wholeness” or “all together.”In mathematics, an integer is a whole number, one complete unit. In the same way, an integrated life is a whole life. It’s the opposite of a compartmentalized life.Integrity means you don’t act one way with your congregation, another way with your staff, another way with your family, and another way when no one can see you. It means what people see in public is connected to who you are in private.Jesus said, “If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant” (Luke 11:36 NLT).When you lead with integrity, you bring light into dark places, not because you’re perfect, but because you’re not hiding in the dark. You let God bring every part of your life under his care.Jesus didn’t just call his people to be light. He also called them to be salt. The Living Bible paraphrase says, “You are the world’s seasoning, to make it tolerable. If you lose your flavor, what will happen to the world?” (Matthew 5:13).Pastor, your church doesn’t need a flawless leader. It needs a faithful one. Your people need to see a life held together by Jesus, rooted in him, steady because of him.Jesus lived with integrity. He consistently brought salt and light into the world. He also lived with humility.Humility is not false modesty. It is not denying your gifts or pretending you don’t have influence. Humility is dependence—dependence on God.Jesus said, “God blesses those who . . . realize their need for him” (Matthew 5:3 NLT). That’s humility.When you don’t depend on God, you try to control what only God can control. But when you depend on God, you hold your ministry with an open hand. You don’t have to carry every outcome, fix every person, or manage every opinion.That kind of humility gives you peace, because you’re relying on God, not yourself.When you live with integrity and depend on God in humility, people notice. You’re not trying to draw attention to yourself. You’re giving them a life that points beyond itself.Ask God for an undivided heart this week. Let him fill the dark corners with light. Lead with integrity. Walk in humility. And when people see the difference, point them to Jesus.