By Rick Warren
Pastor, few things weigh heavier on your heart than seeing conflict among your people. Nothing breaks a shepherd's heart like watching the sheep squabble. Unity isn't just a nice bonus for your church; it's essential. In fact, Jesus taught that your church's witness depends on it. God can work through many weaknesses in your church, but he won't work through disunity.
As you shepherd your people toward unity, here are five principles to guide you:
1. Maintain an attitude of acceptance.
Don’t major in minors. Not every issue requires total agreement. Some disagreements are simply over disputable matters. Paul addresses this in Romans 14:1-23, using the example of disagreement over dietary guidelines to remind believers not to let minor differences divide them. Instead, maintain an attitude of acceptance.
Isn't it a blessing that God made us different? He loves variety! When conflict arises, your first task is to discern whether it's over essentials or non-essentials. If it's essential, address it biblically. But if it's not, lead your people to accept one another's differences.
2. Focus on your common mission.
Nothing unites a church more than a shared purpose. That’s why at Saddleback we always insisted that every new member go through our membership class. There, we clearly lay out the church’s purpose and direction.
Your church isn’t the only church in town, and that’s okay. Other Bible-believing churches may do things differently. Make sure people know what your church is about before they join. Clarity upfront can prevent division later.
3. Control your tongue.
Pastor, when gossip shows up, you need to shut it down immediately—and train your leaders to do the same. Gossip is sin. When you listen to it, you become complicit. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Don’t say anything that would hurt ⸤another person⸥. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you” (GW).
What is gossip? It's when you share a problem or criticism with someone who is neither part of the problem nor part of the solution. If they're not involved, leave it alone. Preach on this often and remind your leadership regularly. It's that important.
4. Teach your church to support church leadership.
Hebrews 13:17 says, “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you” (NIV).
That verse should humble every pastor. One day, you will stand before God and give an account of how you shepherded his people. That reality drives us to our knees, praying for wisdom and guidance.
With that accountability comes authority. Without authority, you can't be held responsible. God gives pastors authority to lead his church. Teaching your church the biblical basis for leadership authority isn’t about propping yourself up—it’s about protecting the unity that God cherishes.
5. Practice God's method of conflict resolution.
Jesus outlines the process for handling conflict in Matthew 18: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along. . . . If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector” (Matthew 18:15-17 NIV).
When someone brings you a complaint about another person, your first question should be: Have you talked to them directly? That’s where biblical conflict resolution begins.
If they refuse to listen, involve one or two others. If they still won't listen, bring it before the church. And if there's still no repentance, treat them as you would an unbeliever—with love, but with clear boundaries about church membership.
Jesus said that unity is a powerful witness to the world. It's not natural for people from different backgrounds to come together as one family. But when churches work together to fulfill God's mission, people notice. Unity attracts.
My prayer is that your church will experience the kind of unity that honors God and draws people to the cross.