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Joining your church does not automatically make someone feel like they belong.People need more than their name on a membership roll. They need to feel welcomed, wanted, recognized, affirmed, and celebrated. They need to feel special.When a church is small, you may be able to do this informally. But as your church grows, you’ll need to create intentional moments that say publicly: “You are now one of us.”Celebrate New Beginnings PubliclyBaptism is an obvious example. When I was pastor at Saddleback, baptisms were always big celebrations—filled with laughter, applause, and shouts of joy. We took a photograph of each person just before baptism and later presented it in a beautiful leather-bound certificate. It became something people proudly displayed.When Saddleback was much smaller, we rented a nearby country club every three months and hosted a new members banquet. Each new member shared a brief testimony. Older members paid for their meals. I rarely made it through one of those evenings without tears. Hearing stories of changed lives reminds your church why it exists.For years, Kay and I hosted a monthly Pastor’s Chat in our home for new members and guests. It was simple hospitality—an opportunity to meet face-to-face and ask questions. Those evenings built hundreds of lasting relationships.Hospitality grows a healthy church.There are many simple ways to make members feel special:Send birthday cardsRecognize first anniversaries of membershipCelebrate life events in your newsletterFeature testimonies in servicesHold staff receptionsReturn a “We prayed for you” note in response to prayer requestsThe point is this: A warm handshake at the end of a service is not enough to help someone feel like they truly belong.Create Opportunities for Real RelationshipsRelationships are the glue that holds a church together.Research shows that the more friends a person has in a congregation, the less likely they are to become inactive or leave. In one survey of 400 church dropouts, more than 75 percent said they left because they didn’t feel anyone cared whether they were there or not.It’s a myth that people must know everyone in the church to feel connected. The average church member knows about 67 people, whether the church has 200 or 2,000 attending. A member doesn’t have to know everyone. But they do have to know someone.While some friendships form naturally, the friendship factor in assimilation is too important to leave to chance. You can’t just hope people make friends. You must encourage it, plan for it, structure for it, and facilitate it.Emphasize the Corporate Nature of the Christian LifePastor, continually emphasize that we belong together.Preach it. Teach it. Talk about it one-on-one.We need each other. We are a family. We are connected. We are one body.When people feel special and supported, they stay. And when they stay, they grow.Belonging doesn’t happen accidentally. It happens because leaders make it a priority. It happens because someone notices the newcomer. Because someone makes the call. Because someone plans the event. Because someone creates the space for friendships to form.You can’t force fellowship, but you can cultivate it.And when you do, you’ll build more than programs. You’ll build a church family where people don’t just attend; they belong.This article is adapted from chapter 17 of The Purpose Driven Church.

Conflict happens. There’s no avoiding it. It shows up at work, at school, in our homes—and, yes, even in the church.Many people try to ignore conflict, hoping it will just go away. It won’t. Ignoring conflict doesn’t eliminate it; it allows it to grow.Pastor, when conflict surfaces in your ministry, you have to deal with it head-on—and deal with it quickly. Letting conflict fester is a costly mistake.“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin and do not stay angry all day. Don’t give the devil a chance” (Ephesians 4:26–27 GNT).That verse surprises some people. They ask, “Is it ever right for a Christian to be angry?” The answer is yes. Jesus became angry—and Jesus never sinned. There are times when anger is appropriate.The issue isn’t whether you feel anger. The issue is what you do with it.The Wrong Kind of AngerThe wrong kind of anger is unresolved anger. Scripture warns us not to let anger linger. When anger hangs on, it turns into resentment—and resentment hardens into bitterness. Bitterness is always sin.Anger itself can be an appropriate response. If you love people, you will sometimes feel anger when you see them hurting themselves or others. But the Bible is clear: Deal with it quickly.Unresolved conflict creates enormous stress. Many leaders carry pressure that isn’t coming from their workload—it’s coming from conflict they’ve avoided addressing.The Only Way to Resolve ConflictHere’s the solution—and you may not like it: confrontation.There is no way around it. If you want to resolve conflict, you must confront it. That doesn’t mean confronting in anger. It means lovingly addressing the issue, speaking the truth in love, and doing it promptly.Most people hate confrontation. The only ones who enjoy it are troublemakers. But avoiding confrontation doesn’t bring peace—it postpones peace.When confrontation is necessary, Scripture gives us clear guidance: “Everyone must be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19 GNT).Those are the three rules for confrontation. If you listen first and speak carefully, anger naturally loses its grip.As you listen, try to hear the hurt behind people’s difficult behavior. Hurting people hurt people. When you understand someone’s pain, patience grows—and patience opens the door to resolution.Doing Your PartThe Bible also reminds us that peace has limits. “As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18 NIV).You are responsible for your part—not someone else’s. When you lovingly address the issue and speak truth with grace, you’ve done what God asks. The rest belongs to the other person.Conflict doesn’t disappear on its own. But when you face it with humility, honesty, and love, God can use it to bring healing, growth, and even deeper unity in your ministry.And that’s all God asks of you.

“Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”Matthew 6:34 (NLT)Pastor, one of the mercies God gives us is that the future doesn’t arrive all at once.If you could see every sermon, every decision, every conflict, every joy, and every disappointment of your entire ministry laid out in advance, it would be overwhelming. So God gives life—and leadership—to you in manageable portions, one day at a time.Since God gives you only one day at a time, that’s how he expects you to live and lead. Faithfulness today is enough.Jesus said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34 NLT). In other words, stop borrowing trouble from the future. If something is coming next week, don’t let it steal today’s strength.Worry doesn’t change yesterday. It can’t control tomorrow. It only drains today.God gives you all the grace you need, but only enough for today. He doesn’t stockpile it for the next month or the next season of ministry. That’s why Jesus taught us to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11 ESV). Daily grace for daily obedience.When the future feels uncertain—attendance trends, finances, leadership decisions, the weight of people’s needs—you can still do what God is asking of you right now. Take care of today. Plan prayerfully for tomorrow, but don’t let tomorrow dominate your heart.One practical way to live this out is to limit the noise you allow into your soul. Constant media, endless opinions, and nonstop updates can quietly fuel pastoral anxiety. Instead, focus on what God has placed in front of you today—your walk with him and the people he’s entrusted to you right now.The Message paraphrase reminds us, “Don’t brashly announce what you’re going to do tomorrow; you don’t know the first thing about tomorrow” (Proverbs 27:1). That’s not a warning against planning—it’s an invitation to humility and trust.So here’s the posture for this Monday:Plan for tomorrow.Pray for tomorrow.But live faithfully today.God will give you everything you need to obey him, one day at a time.

In the previous issue of Toolbox, I encouraged you to begin setting clear goals for your ministry. Using the story of Abraham sending his servant to find a wife for Isaac, we looked at five biblical principles for goal setting:Take an honest inventory of where you are.Clearly define what you want God to do.Anchor your goal in God’s promises.Identify why the goal truly matters.Carry the goal consistently to God in prayer.In this article, we’ll return to that same story and look at five additional principles. These practical steps will help you move God-given goals from intention to completion.6. Identify what’s standing in your way.At some point, every meaningful goal runs into resistance.Before you move forward, you need to identify the obstacles honestly. Ask yourself two important questions:Why haven’t I already achieved this goal?What barriers are slowing me down?Those barriers can take many forms—emotional, financial, relational, or even internal. Abraham’s servant certainly faced his share. He traveled to a land he’d never visited, searched for a woman he’d never met, and somehow had to convince her to leave her family and marry a man she’d never seen.It sounds impossible—and yet God was at work.If you want to move forward, you must first name what’s holding you back. Ignoring obstacles doesn’t make them disappear. Diagnosing them prepares you for the next step.7. Put a workable plan on paper.Once you’ve identified the obstacles, it’s time to design a plan.Good intentions need structure. Ask yourself:How do I intend to move forward?How long will it realistically take?Abraham’s servant didn’t rely on vague hope. In Genesis 24:10–11, he developed a thoughtful, specific plan. He positioned himself where he was most likely to meet the right person. He set a clear test. He established next steps.It wasn’t manipulation—it was preparation.He knew what he would do if the test succeeded. He knew how he would explain his mission. He knew how he would proceed if the door opened. He didn’t leave the details to chance.If you want to reach your goals, write down a plan and set realistic timelines. Faith doesn’t eliminate planning—it directs it.8. Allow God to shape you through discipline.Nothing great is ever accomplished without discipline.While you’re working on your goals, God is working on you. In fact, God is often more interested in who you’re becoming than in what you’re accomplishing.During the goal-setting process, God develops discipline in your life. You see this clearly in Abraham’s servant. When he first encountered Rebekah, he didn’t rush the decision. He slowed down. He observed. He waited for confirmation.Discipline shaped his decisions.If you want to grow with your goals, you have to allow God to work on your character while you work toward your goal. Goals reveal where we need growth—and God uses the process to mature us.9. Decide what you’re willing to sacrifice.Every goal carries a cost.There are no meaningful goals without sacrifice. Great goals always require a great investment. Many pastors want to accomplish big things for God—as long as it doesn’t inconvenience them.But progress always requires payment.Abraham’s servant understood this. Genesis 24:53 describes the gold, silver, and clothing he brought as gifts. He was willing to invest resources to accomplish the mission.The question for us is simple: Are you willing to pay the price your goal requires?If you’re not prepared to sacrifice, the goal will remain an idea instead of becoming a reality.10. Invite others into the process.You were never meant to reach God’s goals alone.God works through people, and lasting success is always shared. Ministry is not a one-person effort—it’s a team calling.Ask yourself:Who else needs to be involved?Who can help move this forward?Abraham’s servant depended on others throughout the process. He treated Rebekah’s family with respect. He cooperated with them rather than forcing the outcome. He understood that accomplishing the goal required trust and partnership.The same is true for you. If you try to carry every goal alone, you’ll eventually burn out—or stall out.Life is too important to drift through without direction.So let me leave you with two questions.First, have you clearly thought through what you want to do with the rest of your ministry? Get alone with God. Take a Bible. Take a planner. Listen before you decide.Second, what are you doing right now that’s truly worth it? Are your daily choices moving you closer to the goals God has placed on your heart?Life is too short—and ministry is too important—not to pursue God’s purposes with clarity, faith, and commitment.