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6 Ways to Earn the Right to Lead People

40 Days of Love

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The Purpose Driven Life Book

You'll never have to earn God's favor. God loves you and is pleased with you completely because of grace and not because of your performance. People, on the other hand, are a little different. If you want to lead people, you must establish credibility and earn the respect and the right to lead them. Leadership is influence. The way you can tell you’re a leader is to look over your shoulder. If somebody’s following, then you’re the leader. If nobody’s following, you’re not the leader. The moment you have to say to the people in your ministry, “I’m the leader!” you are no longer the leader. Leadership is something that is earned. You earn the right to lead through six character qualities in your life. 1 Timothy 3:1, 7 says, “If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task… He also must have a good reputation with outsiders so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.” If you set your heart on being an overseer, that’s a good ambition. It’s okay to have an ambition to be a leader. But if you’re going to be leader, you’ve got to have a good reputation. The key to a good reputation can be summed up in the word “character” – your inner attitudes, your values, and your actions. There’s a difference between reputation and character. Reputation is what people think you are. Character is what you actually are. D.L. Moody said, “Character is what you are in the dark.” Character is what you are when nobody’s around. Character is what you have left when you’ve lost your reputation. It’s what’s left over. The key to a good reputation is having good character. The problem is, we’re more concerned about image than character. If leadership is influence, then influence is earned by respect. If you don’t have the respect of people, you’re not a leader. There are six character qualities, all in Proverbs that establish the respect we need to lead.

We earn respect through integrity.

If you don’t have integrity, it’s not real success; it’s phony success. Proverbs 10:9 says, “The man of integrity walks securely. He who takes crooked paths will be found out.” One of the benefits of walking in integrity is confidence because you have nothing to hide. Confidence comes from having no fear of being found out.

We earn respect through humility.

Proverbs 29:23 (Good News) “Arrogance will bring your downfall but if you’re humble, you will be respected.” The Bible also says, “Clothe yourselves in humility”. If you want to dress for success, that’s a good way to dress. Just about the time I think I’ve got it all together, God pulls the rug out from under me. It’s no problem at all for God to humble you. You can either humble yourself or He will humiliate you. Those are the options. I remember hearing about a school principal one time who made a major mistake and everybody in the school knew about it. He thought, “I’m not going to apologize to everybody. I’d be embarrassed and go down in the kids’ eyes.” Then he changed his mind. So he spoke over the intercom to the entire school and said, “I made a mistake and I apologize. I want to ask this whole school to forgive me for this decision.” He became the most honored principal of that school, simply because the teachers and the kids were so unused to having someone admit it when they were wrong. The kids went up to him saying, “I just wish I had a father like you. I wish I had a dad who could admit it when he was wrong.” The Bible says, “Before honor is humility.” So, when we admit we’re wrong, rather than being downgraded in people’s eyes, we’re raised in people’s eyes.

We earn respect through dependability.

We admire people who can be counted on, people who are reliable, who are trustworthy. Proverbs 25:15 says, “Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of gifts he does not give.” Have you ever met anybody like that? Always promising the moon but delivering nothing. Always saying they’re going to help you in the ministry but they don’t. They’re always long on promises but short on performance. Napoleon once said, “Promise everything, deliver nothing.” He could have been a politician. That’s not the way to live.

We earn respect by living by right priorities.

Respect is earned through living by priority. Proverbs 11:27 says, “If your goals are good you’ll be respected.” Proverbs 14:22 in the Good News translation says, “You will earn the trust and respect of others if you work for good.” If you want to be a leader, have good goals. If your goals are respected and your goals are good, you will be respected. The average American will live 25,550 days. How you invest that time is totally up to you. You can waste it, you can spend it, and you can invest it. But you’ve got to have worthy goals.

We earn respect through generosity.

Proverbs 11:16 declares, “He who gives generously to the needy and shows kindness will be powerful and respected.” The fact of life is, no one is ever honored for what they’ve received. They always are honored for what they give. We’re never honored for what we keep, what we get, but what we give away. Andrew Carnegie once wrote down some goals and when he died they found them in his desk: “I’m going to spend the first half of my life making all the money that I can and I’m going to spend the second half of my life giving it all away.” And he did. As a result, his name is still known years and years later. Generations later. There’s only one problem with that philosophy. Nobody knows when they’re going to die. How are you going to know when to start giving away? How does he know when he’s at the half way point? Do your given’ while you’re livin’ then you’re knowin’ where it’s goin’. When it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing.

We earn respect through spirituality.

You earn respect by making God the priority in your life and getting close to Him. Proverbs 3:4-6 (Living Bible) “If you want favor with God and man and a reputation for good judgment and common sense, then trust the Lord completely. In everything you do put God first and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success.” Notice it says, “If you want favor with man as well as with God...” When you put God first in your life, it not only gives you favor with God but it gives you favor with man. People are drawn to those who naturally love the Lord, those who are naturally in love with Jesus Christ. These are the six areas that produce respect. We earn respect through integrity, humility, generosity, spirituality, dependability, and living by priority. These are the issues. Twenty years from now what are people going to remember about you? Leadership is influence, but you cannot lead without these issues. They are the basis to build respect. When you have the respect of people, people will follow you anywhere.

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Three Leadership Qualities You Can Practice

Nehemiah’s story in the Bible is good news for anyone who questions whether they have what it takes to be a leader.Nehemiah wasn’t a priest. He wasn’t a prophet. He wasn’t a builder. He was a cupbearer to a pagan king (Nehemiah 1:11). And God used him to rebuild what an entire nation had given up on.In Nehemiah 1:1–4, he gets a report that Jerusalem is still a mess. The people are in “great trouble and disgrace” (Nehemiah 1:3 NIV). The wall is broken down. The gates are burned.Before Nehemiah ever builds anything, you see the kind of man he is. And that’s always where God starts—with the heart before the work.Here are three qualities God looks for in leaders he uses. The best part? You can choose to practice and grow in these qualities.1) Develop sensitivity to what breaks God’s heart.When Nehemiah hears the report about Jerusalem, he doesn’t shrug. He sits down and weeps. He mourns, fasts, and prays (Nehemiah 1:4). Leaders don’t become leaders because they want a platform. They become leaders because they can’t ignore what God has put in front of them.In ministry, it’s easy to get insulated. You can spend your week putting out fires, managing budgets, and planning Sundays, and slowly lose touch with what people are actually carrying.But God often begins his leadership assignments with a burden.Pastor, what situation makes you stop and say, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be”? That may be the beginning of God’s call.God uses leaders who care about what God cares about.2) Build a reputation for dependability.Nehemiah is trusted by the king. That’s why he’s in the role he’s in. A cupbearer had to be loyal, discreet, and reliable. The king trusts him with his safety and with his confidence.And God often prepares leaders through ordinary faithfulness long before the “big assignment” shows up. God doesn’t hand responsibility to good intentions; he entrusts it to proven faithfulness.Jesus said, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much” (Luke 16:10 NIV).Before God hands you a larger burden, he watches what you do with the burden you already have.Dependability isn’t flashy, but it’s foundational:Do you keep your word?Do you show up when it’s hard?Do you finish what you start?Do people experience you as steady?You don’t need a bigger title to become more trustworthy. You need deeper integrity.3) Make yourself available when God calls.Nehemiah’s assignment was not convenient. Jerusalem was between 800 and 1,000 miles away. The job was dangerous. The politics were complicated. Opposition was real. Yet when the moment came, Nehemiah was willing to go.Here’s a leadership truth we don’t love, but it’s still true: God can do more with willingness than with raw talent.God is not mainly looking for ability. He’s looking for credibility, dependability, and availability.Availability is a choice.It’s the simple, costly prayer: “Here am I. Send me.”And it raises honest questions:Am I available to do something outside my comfort zone?Am I available to serve in a way that won’t earn applause?Am I available even if it disrupts my plans?Pastor, you don’t have to see every step to say yes to God.Nehemiah didn’t start with a construction plan. He started with a burden, a prayer life, and a willing heart.The kind of leader God uses is not the most talented person in the room. It’s the person who is sensitive to real need, dependable in character, and available when God says go.

When Pressure Is High, Let God Speak First

“It was the first year of the reign of Darius the Mede, the son of Ahasuerus, who became king of the Babylonians. During the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, learned from reading the word of the LORD, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet, that Jerusalem must lie desolate for seventy years.” Daniel 9:1-2 (NLT)Prayer is one of God’s best gifts in a crisis, not because it helps you manage stress, but because it puts you back in front of the only one who can actually carry what’s too heavy for you.Daniel modeled that.When Daniel realized the clock was running out on Israel’s exile, he didn’t just feel hopeful. He also felt the gap: The people weren’t spiritually ready for what God was about to do. That burden drove him to prayer.But notice where Daniel started. He let God speak to him before he spoke to God.Daniel “learned from reading the word of the LORD, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet” (Daniel 9:2 NLT). Before he prayed, Daniel listened. Scripture steadied him, reminded him what God had already said, and gave him the right frame for what came next.That’s a word pastors need, especially on a Monday.When pressure is high, it’s easy to treat prayer like a quick download: “God, here’s what’s on fire. Please handle it.” But Daniel’s approach is slower and better. God speaks first. God moves first. God leads first. Then we respond.So how do you listen to God when problems and stress seem to be all around?You open the Bible—not to hunt for a verse to share, but to meet with the Lord.Here’s one simple way to do it today:Read a short passage (even a few verses).Sit with it long enough for the noise in your head to settle.Ask, “Lord, what are you saying to me?”Then pray one honest response based on what you just read.Daniel didn’t come to God ready to give a speech. He came ready for a conversation. And he let God set the tone.The more Scripture shapes you, the more your prayers will stop sounding like panic—and start sounding like trust.

The Kind of Leadership That Lasts

You can build a crowd on personality, and you can build momentum on skill. But you can’t build a ministry that lasts on charisma alone.That’s because the foundation of leadership is character, not charisma.Charisma is real. In fact, it’s a gift. Some leaders can walk into a room and settle everybody down. Some can tell a story and you can feel the temperature change.But charisma won’t hold you up when the stress hits—when criticism comes, when you’re tired, and when you’re tempted. In those moments, who you are matters more than what you can do.I’ve watched leaders with real charisma lose their influence because their private life couldn’t support their public life. That’s why charisma can’t be the foundation. If people can’t trust you, they won’t follow you for long.Credibility—the real testA lot of organizations confuse position with leadership. They think a title creates influence. It doesn’t.And the same mistake happens in ministry. A platform can make you visible, but it can’t make you believable. Here’s the difference: Reputation is what people say you are, and character is what you really are.Character is what you are in the dark, when nobody’s looking, when you could cut the corner and no one would ever know.What Scripture says to look for in leadersThe Bible says, “Remember your leaders who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith” (Hebrews 13:7 NIV).Notice what it doesn’t say. It doesn’t say, “Consider their talent.” And it doesn’t say, “Consider their style.”It says, “Consider the outcome of their way of life.” God builds lasting leadership on a life you can trust.That Hebrews passage gives you three simple things to watch for:A message worth rememberingWhen you speak, are you giving people truth they can build on or just something that sounds good in the moment?A lifestyle worth consideringDo the people closest to you see the same person the crowd sees?A faith worth imitatingAre you depending on God, or are you living off adrenaline and ability?When you have those three things—a message worth remembering, a lifestyle worth considering, and a faith worth imitating—that’s character. And character outlasts charisma every time.How leaders are madePastor, don’t ask, “Do people like me?” Ask, “Is my life worth following up close?”That’s not a question meant to shame you. It’s a question to give direction, because you can’t lead people somewhere you refuse to go yourself.If you feel a gap between your public leadership and your private life, don’t panic. Just get honest.Character isn’t built in a weekend. It’s built one decision at a time—when you tell the truth and it costs you, when you do the right thing and nobody sees it, and when you keep your conscience clean before God.That’s where leaders are made. And that’s the real measure of leadership.

Lead with Mercy When People Are Hurting

Jesus’ ministry was all about mercy. He showed mercy everywhere he went.If you want to know what mercy-shaped leadership looks like, watch how Jesus meets people in three moments pastors face all the time: shame, disappointment, and death. Luke 1:78 says, “A new day will dawn on us from above because our God is loving and merciful” (GW). Because Jesus is merciful, you can’t just talk about mercy. Mercy has to shape the way you shepherd.Watch how Jesus treats the ashamed, how he answers disappointment, and how he speaks hope when death is close. Then go do the same in your ministry.1) When people mess up, protect their dignity and refuse to throw stones.In John 8, a woman is dragged into public shame. The religious leaders are not trying to restore her. They are trying to use her to trap Jesus.I love what Jesus does first. He slows the whole moment down, protects her dignity, and refuses to let her become a spectacle.When they keep on questioning him, he straightens up and says to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7 NIV). One by one, the accusers walk away. After they all are gone, he assures her he doesn’t condemn her and then says, “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11 NIV).Pastor, that is where mercy begins. Jesus refuses to shame her, but he does call her to change.That is the kind of mercy people trust.It tells the truth without public humiliation.It makes room for repentance.It offers a next step instead of a permanent label.And if you are honest, you need that mercy too. When you have stumbled, overreacted, or said something you wish you could take back, Jesus is not looking for a chance to shame you. He is ready to restore you.Jesus says, “I have come to save the world and not to judge it” (John 12:47 NLT). If you lead like a judge, people will hide. If you lead like a shepherd who has received mercy, people can finally be honest.2) When disappointment settles in, don’t let it harden you.A lot of anger is really disappointment that has been sitting too long. Pastors know that feeling.In John 5, a man has been lying by a pool for 38 years. That is a long time to live with disappointment. So when Jesus asks, “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6 NIV), the man does not really answer the question. He explains why nothing has changed: Somebody else always gets there first.Let disappointment sit long enough, and blame starts to feel normal. You stop expecting much. The heart gets hard.Jesus does not shame the man for that. He answers him with mercy: “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk” (John 5:8 NIV). Mercy gives him something to do, and the man walks.Pastor, sometimes the impossible is not a dramatic turnaround by Sunday. Sometimes it is the quieter miracle of staying soft when you have been let down, obeying God in the next small step, and refusing to let disappointment train you into cynicism.God’s mercy makes room for hope again.3) When death is close, offer people more than comfort; offer them mercy.Sooner or later, every pastor walks into a room where eternity is no longer theoretical: a hospital room, a graveside, or a conversation where death is suddenly close enough to touch.In Luke 23, two criminals hang beside Jesus. One mocks him. The other admits the truth: “We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong” (Luke 23:41 NIV). Then he says, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” (Luke 23:42 NIV).And Jesus answers, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43 NIV).That is more than comfort. It is mercy.It reminds you that the people in front of you do not mainly need better religious performance. They need a Savior, and so do you.So, pastor, carry mercy into the rooms waiting for you this week.Carry it into the hard conversation with the person who failed, into the long disappointment that is tempting you toward cynicism, and into the hospital room, the funeral, and the private places where fear gets loud.Mercy cannot simply be something you preach about. It has to shape the way you care for those you lead.Isaiah 30:18 says, “The LORD wants to show his mercy to you. He wants to rise and comfort you” (NCV). That is God’s word to your people.It is also God’s word to you.

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