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Six Secrets for Becoming a Loving Church

Daily Hope Devotional: 365 Days of Purpose, Peace, and Promise

What's Driving Your Life: A 10-Day Turnaround for a Fresh Start

Building a Better Life

Clearly, one of the reasons for Saddleback’s growth is because we’ve maintained a harmonious atmosphere. When a church loves, it attracts people like a magnet. When a church really offers love to each other and those who are welcomed into it, you have to lock the doors to keep people out! In Romans 14 and 15 Paul gives six secrets for becoming a loving church:

1. The church is committed to building each other up.

Can you imagine a small core of leaders in your church committed to building up everyone they came in contact with? What would that do to the morale of your church? What if just 5 people in your church began writing letters—one note a week—saying, "I appreciate you," and they sent them to others in your congregation. What kind of impact would that have on the morale of your church? Paul instructs us to make this "building up” of others our goal. He wants us to become like Barnabas. The name Barnabas means, "son of encouragement.” How would you like to die and have that written on your tombstone? "She was an encourager." "He was an encourager.” I can’t think of any finer thing to be said. Life is tough, and there are enough discouraging people in the world. We need a whole band—an army—of encouragers!

2. The church recognizes the value of every person.

"Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died” (Romans 14:15). They may be obnoxious; they may be immature; they may be disagreeable, but Christ died for them. And don’t forget that! When you start to get upset with someone in your area of ministry or in the church, just remember: Christ died for that person. That shows how valuable and important they are to God. What right do I have to hurt people Christ died for? The answer is: I don’t have the right. Stay attuned to their importance to God.

3. The church stays focused on what's really important.

"Don’t allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and is approved of men” (Romans 14:16). Paul is saying that the essence of Christianity is not external but internal. By focusing on the things that are internal—eternally important—we can then put up with a lot of external quirks, faults and faux pas. Let me give you an illustration: Back in 1917, as the Bolsheviks grabbed the reins of power through a revolution in Russia, the priests in the Orthodox Church were in a heated debate over how long the tassels should be on their robes. They ignored the Bolshevik revolution, and instead, split their church arguing over this trivial matter! You may remember that I am the son of a pastor, and I’ve been in hundreds of churches. Through that, I’ve learned that most churches don’t split over major issues. They split over trivial, foolish little things. And Paul is making the plea: Don't be sidetracked by minor issues.

4. The stronger church members limit their liberty.

“Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It’s better not to eat meat, drink wine, or do anything else that will cause your brother to fall” (Romans 14:20). When my liberty limits the work of God, then I’ve got a problem. I have to be sensitive to how my liberty potentially causes a weaker brother to stumble. When God called me into the ministry, I was basically a hippie. I had really long hair. But then I was asked to go to Bakersfield—a rather conservative area of California—to do a city-wide crusade. Guess what? When I sent them a picture, the steering committee wanted to cancel the crusade. They were concerned that my hair would encourage the young people to grow their own hair long, in direct contradiction to what the adults had been teaching. What did I do? It didn’t take me but a moment to decide. I cut my hair. Even though I had every right to wear my hair any length, I limited my liberty in order to minister to others. Paul’s point in Romans is, if I need to limit the way that I dress, fine, I’ll limit the way I dress. I’m not limiting myself out of legalism. I’m limiting myself because I want to minister to people who may not be mature enough to accept a different form of dress. Other people’s souls are far more important than my liberty.

5. The church does not insist everyone agree.

As long as I am the senior pastor of Saddleback, we will not make disputable issues a test of fellowship. We will not say, regarding disputable matters, “Believe as I believe, think as I think, drink as I drink, do as I do. Be like me! Only then can I fellowship with you.” Don’t force your opinion on others. Romans 14:22 says “So whatever you believe about these things, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.” Paul says, on these disputable matters, keep them between you and the Lord. Go ahead and enjoy your freedom, but don’t flaunt it. Enjoy your freedom, but enjoy it in privacy. You can practice your freedom without parading it. Romans 12:18 offers a good balance for this, suggesting that while you need to look out for people who might be offended by a legitimate “stumbling block” issue, there are some legalists who will be upset no matter what you do. You’ll never be able to please them. In that event, Paul says, “As far as it depends on you, if it is possible, live at peace with all men.” God even admits there are some people you can’t get along with! In that case, it’s not so much your problem as it is theirs. Their nitpicking says more about them than you. What you need to do is allow the Holy Spirit to help you determine when you’re dealing with a legitimate stumbling block, and when you’re dealing with another believer who is simply unpleaseable. But DON’T jump to the conclusion that it’s their problem. Take it to God and see what he has to say.

6. The church accepts one another.

In Romans 15:7, Paul says, “Accept one another just as Christ has accepted you in order to bring praise to God.” How did Christ accept us? Unconditionally. Non-judgmentally. No one’s acceptance is based on performance! Paul then goes on in verse 13, saying there are four marks of a unified church: joy, peace, hope, and power. Now, that’s the kind of church I want to be a part of, and I’m sure you do too! No church will ever be perfect, but it can be healthy. Saddleback certainly is not a perfect church, but it is healthy, just like my kids aren’t perfect, but they’re healthy. May your church grow in joy and peace and hope and power. Let me pray for you: Heavenly Father, I thank you for these pastors whom you love and whom you died for. Father, it is my prayer their churches will be so committed to building each other up that the world will take notice. I pray their churches and ministries will be unified in love and that they will bring glory to you. I pray that their churches will be filled with joy, peace, hope and power. Teach us to recognize the value of every individual. Teach us to keep our focus on what’s really important. Help us to willingly limit our liberty out of love for others. Help us refrain from forcing our opinions on each other, particularly in areas that aren’t clearly stated in Your word. Help us to live by faith and help us, "like Christ," to be interested in doing what’s good for others and not just seek what’s best for us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Recent Articles

Are You Focused on the Immediate or the Eternal?

As a pastor, you deal with many immediate needs every day—from counseling issues to leadership concerns to preparing your regular weekend messages. And added to that, we’re in the middle of an election year, when everyone is fighting for our attention.  It’s easy to get caught up in the here and now. But faithful ministry in our world today that impacts our communities requires something else. Every pastor needs to keep an eternal perspective.  Keeping an eternal perspective means realizing there’s more to life than just here and now. C.S. Lewis once said, “All that is not eternal is eternally out of date.” You’re in an eternal struggle for the hearts and souls of people in your community. Nothing matters more than that struggle.  An eternal perspective realizes there are long-term implications for every action we take. Pastors who make a difference in the world around them focus on those eternal implications rather than the immediate ones. At the most, you’ll only live on earth for a mere 90 or so years, but your time in eternity will never end. Your ministry on this side of eternity is simply a prelude to the real thing.  Noah understood this. The Bible tells us, “[Noah] was the only truly righteous man living on the earth at that time. He tried always to conduct his affairs according to God’s will” (Genesis 6:9 TLB). Noah was single-focused, always asking, “What does God want me to do?” That’s what an eternally focused life looks like. Noah had a filter. Each decision he made was guided by God’s will.  Hebrews 13:14 captures what it means to be eternally minded: “For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our everlasting home in heaven” (TLB). If you believe and base your ministry on that truth, it will change everything for you and your church. Suddenly, yesterday’s contentious business meeting and your church’s budget failings won’t matter nearly as much.  Your focus will be on what doesn’t change—helping people to worship the Lord, build Jesus-honoring relationships, become more like Jesus, serve God faithfully, and tell others about Jesus.   A ministry with an eternal perspective focuses on the purposes of God, which never change. That’s why I wrote in The Purpose Driven Church: “Unless the driving force behind a church is biblical, the health and growth of the church will never be what God intended. Strong churches are not built on programs, personalities, or gimmicks. They are built on the eternal purposes of God.” Programs, personalities, and gimmicks might produce short-term ministry success, but the results of pursuing God’s purposes last forever. When you have an eternal perspective on your ministry, you realize the most important areas of your work can’t be easily seen. Paul says, “We set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever” (2 Corinthians 4:18 NCV). A thousand years from now, our church buildings will be nothing but piles of rubble. Our budgets and our strategies won’t matter at all. What really counts is the lasting impact we’ve had on people who will worship Jesus for all of eternity.  If you truly understand this perspective, you won’t need to stress over the ebbs and flows of your ministry week. The headlines won’t depress you each morning. Your church’s budget shortfalls won’t cause you concern.  Instead, as you focus on what God’s Word says about eternal issues that matter most, you’ll be free to make a difference with your ministry. Remember the words of Proverbs 19:21: “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails” (NIV). If you are building a ministry on God’s eternal purposes, you can’t fail. God’s purposes will always prevail.

Three Ways to Grow While You Wait

God wants to do something incredible through your ministry. No one can take that away. Your critics can’t. Neither can Satan. But that doesn’t mean you won’t have to wait for it. Sometimes God cracks a door and lets you see your future before you’re ready to walk through it. Why does he do that? First, if God showed you all your future at once,it would scare you. You’d take one look and say, “Oh no, God wants me to do that?” You’re simply not ready right now to see everything God wants to do through you. God also wants to keep you close to him as you trust him to do what he is calling you to do. It’s like he writes his plan for you on a scroll. You unroll the scroll a bit and do what he says. Then you unroll a bit more, and he gives you a little more of the vision. You’re not the first leader God has let glimpse the future long before it’s become reality. In fact, he has done that over and over again throughout history. Centuries ago, God gave Habakkuk a vision for Israel and then told him: “But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!” (Habakkuk 2:3 TLB). God wasn’t late for Habakkuk. He won’t be overdue when it comes to his vision for your life either. God’s timing is perfect. God is always at work, lining up everything according to his plan. God can do more in five minutes on his timing, than you can do in 50 years on yours. While you wait, God has something important for you to do. You're supposed to be preparing by learning. So what do you need to learn while you’re waiting on God’s vision for your life to be fulfilled? Learn discernment. You need to learn which doors to walk through and which ones to walk past so you can avoid wasting time, money, and energy as you pursue God’s vision for your ministry. Paul writes to the church of Philippi: “This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ” (Philippians 1:9-10 NIV). God wants you to grow in your love for others, but he wants you to do that with both knowledge and discernment so you’ll make the right choices about the doors he puts in front of you. Learn courage. You may already know the right choices to make about the doors God has placed before you, but you need to grow in your courage. You don’t have the faith right now to take the right step. Pastor, it’s not enough to know what to do. You need the courage to actually do what the Lord is calling you to do. Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s stepping out in faith despite your fear. When Solomon received the assignment of building the temple, David gave him some advice:“Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He won’t leave you or abandon you until all the work for the service of the Lord’s house is finished” (1 Chronicles 28:20 CSB). I’ve been scared about every single important decision in my life, but I decided long ago not to let fear dominate my life. So I have constantly acted contrary to my fear. God doesn’t sponsor flops. If he gives you the vision, you have nothing to worry about. Learn to open doors for others. Waiting isn’t easy. When you have a glimpse of something God wants to do through your life, you want it now. But you’re not the only one waiting. Look around in your ministry, and you’ll see other people waiting for their own open doors. Often, they will have doors in front of them you can help open. As often as you can, learn to open those doors. Love other people. Care about how God will use them. God will put people in your life to do the same for you. Don’t waste your waiting time. Let God help you grow into the leader he wants you to be on the other side of the door.

6 Ways Leaders Need to Show Discipline

Great leaders have at least one common denominator: personal discipline. Take the Apostle Paul as an example. He had tremendous self-control. He talks about it in this passage: “Don’t you realize that everyone who runs in a race runs to win, but only one runner gets the prize? Run like them, so that you can win. Everyone who enters an athletic contest goes into strict training. They do it to win a temporary crown, but we do it to win one that will be permanent” (1 Corinthians 9:24-25 GW). Paul wanted to be successful and understood he couldn’t live haphazardly and accomplish what God called him to do. He showed self-discipline throughout his ministry, and so should we. Here are six specific areas of our lives where leaders need to show self-discipline. Their mood: Most great things in the world are achieved by those who don’t feel like doing them. The Bible says, “A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls” (Proverb 25:28 TLB). Without discipline, you’re at the mercy of your moods. You’re without defense and a helpless victim of your emotions. Their words: Proverbs 13:3 says, “Whoever controls his mouth protects his own life. Whoever has a big mouth comes to ruin” (GW). Leaders who say the wrong things at the wrong time can expect problems. Their reactions: The Bible says, “If you are sensible, you will control your temper. When someone wrongs you, it is a great virtue to ignore it” (Proverbs 19:11 GNT). Leaders don’t fly off the handle even when provoked. When you get angry because of someone else, you’re letting that person have control over you. A disciplined person acts rather than reacts. Their schedule: We all have the same amount of time—168 hours a week. But leaders know how to use their time effectively. Ephesians 5:15-16 says, “Live life, then, with a due sense of responsibility . . . Make the best use of your time” (PHILLIPS). Discipline is the reason some people get more done than others. You don’t have time to do everything as a leader, so you need to schedule your priorities. If you don’t decide how you’ll spend your time, others will decide for you. Their money: Leaders must live within their means. The way you manage the resources God gives you is a glimpse into how you’ll manage the resources of others. Luke 16:10 says, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with a lot. Whoever is dishonest with very little is dishonest with a lot” (GW). Their health: For many of us, our bodies need more exercise, more rest, and fewer calories. Proverbs 23:2 says, “If you have a big appetite, restrain yourself” (GNT). Leadership is a marathon. If you want to go the distance, treat your body with respect. The rewards of a disciplined life go well beyond your ministry. You’ll have less stress and less debt, and you’ll live longer. But most importantly, you’ll be more ready to be used by God. The disciplines you establish today will determine your future.

The Fallacy of One-Size-Fits-All Discipleship

You can mass produce many things—cars, furniture, plastic bottles, etc.—but you can’t mass produce disciples. One-size-fits-all simply doesn’t work when you’re trying to help people become more like Jesus. God wired each of us with a unique SHAPE. The Bible says, “You shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13 MSG). Our creator specially designed each and every one of us. The unique ways God made us affect everything about us—including how we fulfill God’s purposes. SHAPE is an acrostic that describes our uniqueness. God gave us Spiritual gifts, Heart (passions), Abilities, Personality, and Experiences. No one else in the world has the same mix of those five attributes as you do. A person’s God-given SHAPE helps them identify where they can best serve the body of Christ. But our uniqueness is about much more than how we serve. In fact, our SHAPE affects how we worship, fellowship, evangelize—and how we grow. There’s a myth that maturity is measured by how much Bible knowledge you have. Of course, that’s a factor in maturity, but it’s not the only one. We all know someone who’s a veritable storehouse of Bible knowledge yet is just downright mean. God’s Word hasn’t made it into their character. If maturity was just about learning as much of the Bible as possible, then we might all grow in the same ways. But people grow differently. Some people learn by listening. If they hear it, they get it. Others learn through reading. Still, others grow best when they’re discussing truth with other believers. We also know that many people grow by rolling up their sleeves and getting to work. Don’t give them the latest book on prayer; pray with them. Give them opportunities to serve. That’s how they grow. The problem is that most of our churches only teach in one way. They expect everyone to grow through listening to someone talk. Auditory learners love that. But not everyone is an auditory learner. It’s no accident that most churches have more women in discussion groups than men. Many women like to discuss. Many men like to act. They’re ready for action. There’s nothing wrong with either of those preferences. It’s how God wired them. So, as you build a discipleship program in your church, you have to understand that the best way to help the most people grow is through multiple reinforcements. That’s why I strongly believe in spiritual-growth campaigns. These short-term campaigns have multiple components, such as devotional reading, small group discussion, memory verses, ministry projects, and more. You teach the same truth through hearing it, reading it, talking about it, discussing it, doing it, and memorizing it. You do it all at once. If you’re not using spiritual growth campaigns, I recommend giving it a try. As you engage them in different ways, you’ll see people who have stalled spiritually for years start growing. Throughout the years at Saddleback, we’ve used several tools to help people grow through the unique ways God wired them. For example, SHAPE interviews help our members discover their God-given design so they can find ministry fits in the church. Not only does this get people connected to ministries, but it also helps them find out more about themselves so they can grow according to their SHAPE. Another tool we’ve used is a spiritual health assessment, where you can evaluate your growth progress. The Bible tells us to examine ourselves. This tool gives people a tangible way to look into their spiritual lives. We’ve found this tool helps just about everyone, but it’s particularly good for those God wired to be more introspective. Also, to help people who particularly enjoy being in nature, we created a prayer garden, where they can go to pray after every service. But the tools aren’t as important as the principle. You can’t make cookie-cutter disciples. Though we all go through a discipleship process, everyone grows in different ways and at different rates. Look for ways to expand the opportunities for people to grow in the unique ways God has wired them.