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How to Avoid a Moral Failure in Ministry and Leadership

Building a Better Life

The Purpose Driven Life Book

Life's Healing Choices

One of my gravest concerns about the witness of the church to our current culture is the threat to our evangelistic integrity caused by moral failures among ministry leaders. Every time a leader falls, we all suffer with that leader and his family and friends. And our collective witness to God's truth suffers as well. For Jesus' sake, for the Gospel's sake, for your sake and your family's sake, decide daily that you're going to live with integrity by God's grace. First Corinthians 10:13 in the Living Bible says, "The wrong desires that come into your life aren't anything new and different. Many others have faced exactly the same problems before you. And no temptation is irresistible. God will show you how to escape." I find this verse incredibly reassuring. First, it says everybody faces temptation. It's man's oldest problem, since Adam and Eve. We've all had problems with temptation. I'm tempted, you're tempted. It's not a sin to be tempted. It is a sin to give in to temptation. And God will provide a way out, a way of escape. Here are six ways to take that escape, to avoid fatal attractions . . .

Make a commitment to keep God's standards.

Be willing to do in advance what the Bible says. Psalm 119:9 says, "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your Word." The best place and the safest place to get your values is to consult the Creator and look at God's instruction manual, the Bible. It's stood the test of time. It's provided guidance for years and years. It won't lead you wrong. Make a commitment to whatever God says whether it's right or wrong in the eyes of other people. Until you settle that God's Word is the standard for your life you're going to fall for all kinds of temptations.

Maintain your marriage.

This is the greatest insurance for a happy home life. Rekindle that fire, that romance. Proverbs 5:18-19 says, "Rejoice in your wife. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight." The grass is not greener on this side of the fence. The grass is greener where you water it. The problem is in most marriages there is no spontaneity. If there was more courting in marriages, there would be fewer marriages in court. The fact is while you're married you will be attracted to other people. God says redirect that towards your mate. Rejoice in your own mate. First Corinthians 7:5 teaches that sex is a spiritual responsibility. The Bible says you are not to deprive each other of it.

Manage your mind.

You need to understand how temptation works. James 1:14-15 says, "Temptation is the pull of our own evil thoughts and wishes. These thoughts lead to evil actions." The battle starts in the mind. Thoughts determine feelings and feelings determine actions and the key is to change your mental thoughts. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Adultery starts in the head before it gets to the bed. Lust is not physical attraction. That's just humanity. Lust is not desire. Lust is the desire to possess. You say, "Please take away all of these desires." Are you saying, "God, don't make me a woman/man?" Lust is the desire of "if I could I would"—I'd possess. It's what you do with those feelings. Manage your mind.

Monitor your media intake.

We are in a sex saturated society. We are bombarded by visual and verbal stimulation every moment of the day. In advertising, sex sells everything from bingo to batteries. Lust is big business. A lot of love songs are not love songs, they are lust songs. We've all heard the stats on Internet pornography, but it often begins with browsing things that only border on pornography. The Bible says that the eye is the gate to the soul. Matthew 6:22-23 says, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good then your whole being will be full of light." What you see is what you become. Every time you look at that screen in living, visual color at the movie, it goes off that screen and comes into the screen of your mind. It's in your subconscious. In Psalm 101:3 David said, "I will set no vile thing before my eyes." If you're serious about victory in this area you're going to have to give up about 80% of the movies and shows that are out there today. The Bible says what you allow in the gate of your mind goes into your soul.

Minimize the opportunities for temptation.

If you want to avoid a fatal attraction don't allow yourself in situations where it happens. Matthew 6:41 says, "Keep watch, and pray so that you will not fall into temptation." Jesus said here keep watch and pray—two preventative techniques. Know the situations that tempt you, that get you off base. Are you aware of the things that trip you up? What do you do if you're caught off guard? You pray. Right there on the spot. You say, "God, help me get out of this situation." Choose the friends you have very carefully. First Corinthians 15:33 says, "Bad company corrupts good character." People who condone or encourage lust or make light of it are not your real friends. When you choose your close friends you'd better be certain that they're committed to faithfulness in their marriage or they better not be your best friends. Minimize the opportunity. It would be better to change jobs than to be unfaithful to your mate.

Magnify the consequences.

Ask yourself with every temptation, no matter where it is or what level it is, "Is this worth it?" Temptation is incredibly short‑sighted. There are enormous consequences to breaking God's laws. I have heard the hurtful cries and the damage that has been done, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and mentally. When we break God's laws, we don't break them—they break us. It always causes bitterness, guilt, disillusionment, strains in relationships, hurts, breaks fellowship with God, and brings judgement on our lives. It's just not worth it no matter what society says. Magnify the consequences. Also, magnify the consequences of running from the temptation and the benefits of doing so. James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the one who perseveres under temptation, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the victor's crown, the life God has promised to those who love Him." The result of fleeing temptation is a crown in heaven. If you've already experienced moral failure or are in the middle of one right now, there is forgiveness in Jesus Christ. Ask for forgiveness, make amends, offer forgiveness to others, restore relationships, and run back to God. There is forgiveness and the conscience can be cleared and clean. And always be about the business of preventing it from happening again by living under God's truth and grace.

Editor's note: If you struggle with temptation in the area of sexuality or pornography, we encourage you to reach out to Celebrate Recovery to find a recovery ministry in your area.

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Three Leadership Qualities You Can Practice

Nehemiah’s story in the Bible is good news for anyone who questions whether they have what it takes to be a leader.Nehemiah wasn’t a priest. He wasn’t a prophet. He wasn’t a builder. He was a cupbearer to a pagan king (Nehemiah 1:11). And God used him to rebuild what an entire nation had given up on.In Nehemiah 1:1–4, he gets a report that Jerusalem is still a mess. The people are in “great trouble and disgrace” (Nehemiah 1:3 NIV). The wall is broken down. The gates are burned.Before Nehemiah ever builds anything, you see the kind of man he is. And that’s always where God starts—with the heart before the work.Here are three qualities God looks for in leaders he uses. The best part? You can choose to practice and grow in these qualities.1) Develop sensitivity to what breaks God’s heart.When Nehemiah hears the report about Jerusalem, he doesn’t shrug. He sits down and weeps. He mourns, fasts, and prays (Nehemiah 1:4). Leaders don’t become leaders because they want a platform. They become leaders because they can’t ignore what God has put in front of them.In ministry, it’s easy to get insulated. You can spend your week putting out fires, managing budgets, and planning Sundays, and slowly lose touch with what people are actually carrying.But God often begins his leadership assignments with a burden.Pastor, what situation makes you stop and say, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be”? That may be the beginning of God’s call.God uses leaders who care about what God cares about.2) Build a reputation for dependability.Nehemiah is trusted by the king. That’s why he’s in the role he’s in. A cupbearer had to be loyal, discreet, and reliable. The king trusts him with his safety and with his confidence.And God often prepares leaders through ordinary faithfulness long before the “big assignment” shows up. God doesn’t hand responsibility to good intentions; he entrusts it to proven faithfulness.Jesus said, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much” (Luke 16:10 NIV).Before God hands you a larger burden, he watches what you do with the burden you already have.Dependability isn’t flashy, but it’s foundational:Do you keep your word?Do you show up when it’s hard?Do you finish what you start?Do people experience you as steady?You don’t need a bigger title to become more trustworthy. You need deeper integrity.3) Make yourself available when God calls.Nehemiah’s assignment was not convenient. Jerusalem was between 800 and 1,000 miles away. The job was dangerous. The politics were complicated. Opposition was real. Yet when the moment came, Nehemiah was willing to go.Here’s a leadership truth we don’t love, but it’s still true: God can do more with willingness than with raw talent.God is not mainly looking for ability. He’s looking for credibility, dependability, and availability.Availability is a choice.It’s the simple, costly prayer: “Here am I. Send me.”And it raises honest questions:Am I available to do something outside my comfort zone?Am I available to serve in a way that won’t earn applause?Am I available even if it disrupts my plans?Pastor, you don’t have to see every step to say yes to God.Nehemiah didn’t start with a construction plan. He started with a burden, a prayer life, and a willing heart.The kind of leader God uses is not the most talented person in the room. It’s the person who is sensitive to real need, dependable in character, and available when God says go.

When Pressure Is High, Let God Speak First

“It was the first year of the reign of Darius the Mede, the son of Ahasuerus, who became king of the Babylonians. During the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, learned from reading the word of the LORD, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet, that Jerusalem must lie desolate for seventy years.” Daniel 9:1-2 (NLT)Prayer is one of God’s best gifts in a crisis, not because it helps you manage stress, but because it puts you back in front of the only one who can actually carry what’s too heavy for you.Daniel modeled that.When Daniel realized the clock was running out on Israel’s exile, he didn’t just feel hopeful. He also felt the gap: The people weren’t spiritually ready for what God was about to do. That burden drove him to prayer.But notice where Daniel started. He let God speak to him before he spoke to God.Daniel “learned from reading the word of the LORD, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet” (Daniel 9:2 NLT). Before he prayed, Daniel listened. Scripture steadied him, reminded him what God had already said, and gave him the right frame for what came next.That’s a word pastors need, especially on a Monday.When pressure is high, it’s easy to treat prayer like a quick download: “God, here’s what’s on fire. Please handle it.” But Daniel’s approach is slower and better. God speaks first. God moves first. God leads first. Then we respond.So how do you listen to God when problems and stress seem to be all around?You open the Bible—not to hunt for a verse to share, but to meet with the Lord.Here’s one simple way to do it today:Read a short passage (even a few verses).Sit with it long enough for the noise in your head to settle.Ask, “Lord, what are you saying to me?”Then pray one honest response based on what you just read.Daniel didn’t come to God ready to give a speech. He came ready for a conversation. And he let God set the tone.The more Scripture shapes you, the more your prayers will stop sounding like panic—and start sounding like trust.

The Kind of Leadership That Lasts

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Lead with Mercy When People Are Hurting

Jesus’ ministry was all about mercy. He showed mercy everywhere he went.If you want to know what mercy-shaped leadership looks like, watch how Jesus meets people in three moments pastors face all the time: shame, disappointment, and death. Luke 1:78 says, “A new day will dawn on us from above because our God is loving and merciful” (GW). Because Jesus is merciful, you can’t just talk about mercy. Mercy has to shape the way you shepherd.Watch how Jesus treats the ashamed, how he answers disappointment, and how he speaks hope when death is close. Then go do the same in your ministry.1) When people mess up, protect their dignity and refuse to throw stones.In John 8, a woman is dragged into public shame. The religious leaders are not trying to restore her. They are trying to use her to trap Jesus.I love what Jesus does first. He slows the whole moment down, protects her dignity, and refuses to let her become a spectacle.When they keep on questioning him, he straightens up and says to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7 NIV). One by one, the accusers walk away. After they all are gone, he assures her he doesn’t condemn her and then says, “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11 NIV).Pastor, that is where mercy begins. Jesus refuses to shame her, but he does call her to change.That is the kind of mercy people trust.It tells the truth without public humiliation.It makes room for repentance.It offers a next step instead of a permanent label.And if you are honest, you need that mercy too. When you have stumbled, overreacted, or said something you wish you could take back, Jesus is not looking for a chance to shame you. He is ready to restore you.Jesus says, “I have come to save the world and not to judge it” (John 12:47 NLT). If you lead like a judge, people will hide. If you lead like a shepherd who has received mercy, people can finally be honest.2) When disappointment settles in, don’t let it harden you.A lot of anger is really disappointment that has been sitting too long. Pastors know that feeling.In John 5, a man has been lying by a pool for 38 years. That is a long time to live with disappointment. So when Jesus asks, “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6 NIV), the man does not really answer the question. He explains why nothing has changed: Somebody else always gets there first.Let disappointment sit long enough, and blame starts to feel normal. You stop expecting much. The heart gets hard.Jesus does not shame the man for that. He answers him with mercy: “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk” (John 5:8 NIV). Mercy gives him something to do, and the man walks.Pastor, sometimes the impossible is not a dramatic turnaround by Sunday. Sometimes it is the quieter miracle of staying soft when you have been let down, obeying God in the next small step, and refusing to let disappointment train you into cynicism.God’s mercy makes room for hope again.3) When death is close, offer people more than comfort; offer them mercy.Sooner or later, every pastor walks into a room where eternity is no longer theoretical: a hospital room, a graveside, or a conversation where death is suddenly close enough to touch.In Luke 23, two criminals hang beside Jesus. One mocks him. The other admits the truth: “We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong” (Luke 23:41 NIV). Then he says, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” (Luke 23:42 NIV).And Jesus answers, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43 NIV).That is more than comfort. It is mercy.It reminds you that the people in front of you do not mainly need better religious performance. They need a Savior, and so do you.So, pastor, carry mercy into the rooms waiting for you this week.Carry it into the hard conversation with the person who failed, into the long disappointment that is tempting you toward cynicism, and into the hospital room, the funeral, and the private places where fear gets loud.Mercy cannot simply be something you preach about. It has to shape the way you care for those you lead.Isaiah 30:18 says, “The LORD wants to show his mercy to you. He wants to rise and comfort you” (NCV). That is God’s word to your people.It is also God’s word to you.

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