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Four Ways Every Youth Pastor Can Bring Out the Best in Students

Daily Hope Devotional: 365 Days of Purpose, Peace, and Promise

The Purpose Driven Life Book

Life's Healing Choices

The first job I ever had in a church was as a youth pastor. When I took the position, I knew nothing about youth ministry. Honestly, I was as green as they come. I’ll never forget the church’s pastor, W.C. Bryant, pulling me into his office after he hired me. We couldn’t have looked more different. He was in a three-piece suit. I was in jeans and a t-shirt. But W.C. looked me right in the eyes and said, “Rick, if I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t hire you. If I didn’t trust you, you wouldn’t be on this staff. The very fact that you’re here means that I do trust you. So go for it. Do whatever it takes to reach kids for Christ.” And that’s what I did. After he showed that kind of trust for me, I went all out engaging our community’s youth with the Gospel. We reached hundreds of teenagers for Christ. That experience profoundly changed the course of my future ministry. I learned lessons that would eventually help me found and lead Saddleback Church. I’ve taught those principles all around the world now, but many of them got their start when I was a youth minister. Youth pastor, I know what you do matters. It matters more than you likely know right now. You’re shaping young people who aren’t just the church of tomorrow—they are the church of today! It’s a big responsibility and a big opportunity. How do you bring out the best in these youth so they can impact their communities for Christ? Start by building these four habits into your relationships with teenagers.

1. Accept your students’ uniqueness.

Take a look at the students in your ministry. They’re all so different—different sizes, different skills, different backgrounds. God will use them in very different ways in the future, too. He could have just made a machine to produce carbon copies of every person on the planet, but that’s not how God works. God values diversity, and our ministries should, too. Many of your youth are just beginning to test the bounds of their unique contributions in the world around them. How you engage their uniqueness will resonate with them for years to come. God made every teenager differently because there are many different roles for them to fulfill. If they were all the same, think of all the work that would go undone. The Bible tells us, “There are different types of work to do, but the same God produces every gift in every person” (1 Corinthians 12:6 GW). That’s why your job goes beyond just affirming their uniqueness. Your job (no matter what role in ministry you’re in) is to help people discover their uniqueness and grow within it. And it’s particularly important as you work with youth. From every other direction, teenagers are being pressured to compare themselves to others and to conform to whatever their peers are doing. Your voice must be different from that. You must help them discover and develop their unique SHAPE—the blend of their spiritual gifts, heart, abilities, personality, and experiences.

2. Affirm them constantly.

Teenagers constantly hear negative messages about themselves. They’re hearing those messages from teachers at school, coaches, other students—and maybe even from their families at times. Be the different voice in their lives. Affirmation can work in incredible ways in the lives of young people (and old people, for that matter). Recently, I went to an eighth-grade graduation program for kids with special needs, and one particular kid’s story illustrates this. He had known he was different from an early age. And this made him angry with everyone else, all of the time. But God transformed him. When his junior high school graduation approached, his school asked him to give the graduation speech. He told those assembled, “My life was like a campfire, out of control, and the fire sent sparks everywhere. My anger was burning everyone in my life.” But then he talked about the affirmation and acceptance he received from his parents, who are a part of our church, and his small group through our junior high ministry. It changed his life. He ended his speech by saying, “I’m still a campfire, but now I warm everybody and they’re attracted to the fire. They’re making s’mores over me!”  God used the affirmation of others to change the life of that boy. Your affirmation has that power, too.

3. Trust them with responsibility.

Nothing will bring out the best in your youth more than your trust. It’s like the story I shared earlier: W.C. Bryant’s faith in me set me loose in my first experience as a youth pastor. His confidence in me set me free to take risks, make mistakes, and grow. Your students will never learn to impact the world for Jesus by just reading books about it. They’ll learn to impact their world by doing it. Start small. Look for little ways they can serve when they first come to your ministry. Let them clean up after a meeting. Turn them into a greeter. But don’t stop there. Make it your goal to turn over ministries to them as they move ahead. Let them organize the work, solicit the help of others, and then do the ministry. Most likely, your teenagers can accept more responsibility than you think they can.

4. Love them fiercely and unconditionally.

This may be the most important part of bringing out the best in your youth, but it will be the toughest. Your students will test your love for them all of the time. You’ll be hurt as a youth leader. You’ll be disappointed. You’ll pour into them one day, and they’ll make a really bad decision the next. But the mark of a youth leader who effectively builds next-generation leaders is that they never give up on teenagers.  We all need people in our lives who will give us a second chance. I know I’ve needed those people many times in my life. I’m sure you have as well. So do your students. Many of the kids you’re ministering to each week don’t have that kind of relationship with anyone else in their lives. They desperately lack the security that comes with the unconditional love and acceptance of others. When they see you and others in your ministry care for them even when they’ve blown it, you’ll give them a glimpse into who God is. The truth is, you’ll never be able to meet this need completely for the youth in your ministry. Not even parents can. But you can point them to the One who can give them the kind of security they desperately (and often secretly) long for. Introduce them to the unconditional love of God, and he’ll meet this need in the deepest way possible over and over for the rest of their lives. You might not see it now, but I believe you’re making a difference in the lives of youth that will reverberate for generations to come. I’m convinced the best days for the church are ahead of us. Part of that is because of the work you’re doing in the lives of youth. Keep it up!

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Are You Focused on the Immediate or the Eternal?

As a pastor, you deal with many immediate needs every day—from counseling issues to leadership concerns to preparing your regular weekend messages. And added to that, we’re in the middle of an election year, when everyone is fighting for our attention.  It’s easy to get caught up in the here and now. But faithful ministry in our world today that impacts our communities requires something else. Every pastor needs to keep an eternal perspective.  Keeping an eternal perspective means realizing there’s more to life than just here and now. C.S. Lewis once said, “All that is not eternal is eternally out of date.” You’re in an eternal struggle for the hearts and souls of people in your community. Nothing matters more than that struggle.  An eternal perspective realizes there are long-term implications for every action we take. Pastors who make a difference in the world around them focus on those eternal implications rather than the immediate ones. At the most, you’ll only live on earth for a mere 90 or so years, but your time in eternity will never end. Your ministry on this side of eternity is simply a prelude to the real thing.  Noah understood this. The Bible tells us, “[Noah] was the only truly righteous man living on the earth at that time. He tried always to conduct his affairs according to God’s will” (Genesis 6:9 TLB). Noah was single-focused, always asking, “What does God want me to do?” That’s what an eternally focused life looks like. Noah had a filter. Each decision he made was guided by God’s will.  Hebrews 13:14 captures what it means to be eternally minded: “For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our everlasting home in heaven” (TLB). If you believe and base your ministry on that truth, it will change everything for you and your church. Suddenly, yesterday’s contentious business meeting and your church’s budget failings won’t matter nearly as much.  Your focus will be on what doesn’t change—helping people to worship the Lord, build Jesus-honoring relationships, become more like Jesus, serve God faithfully, and tell others about Jesus.   A ministry with an eternal perspective focuses on the purposes of God, which never change. That’s why I wrote in The Purpose Driven Church: “Unless the driving force behind a church is biblical, the health and growth of the church will never be what God intended. Strong churches are not built on programs, personalities, or gimmicks. They are built on the eternal purposes of God.” Programs, personalities, and gimmicks might produce short-term ministry success, but the results of pursuing God’s purposes last forever. When you have an eternal perspective on your ministry, you realize the most important areas of your work can’t be easily seen. Paul says, “We set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever” (2 Corinthians 4:18 NCV). A thousand years from now, our church buildings will be nothing but piles of rubble. Our budgets and our strategies won’t matter at all. What really counts is the lasting impact we’ve had on people who will worship Jesus for all of eternity.  If you truly understand this perspective, you won’t need to stress over the ebbs and flows of your ministry week. The headlines won’t depress you each morning. Your church’s budget shortfalls won’t cause you concern.  Instead, as you focus on what God’s Word says about eternal issues that matter most, you’ll be free to make a difference with your ministry. Remember the words of Proverbs 19:21: “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails” (NIV). If you are building a ministry on God’s eternal purposes, you can’t fail. God’s purposes will always prevail.

Three Ways to Grow While You Wait

God wants to do something incredible through your ministry. No one can take that away. Your critics can’t. Neither can Satan. But that doesn’t mean you won’t have to wait for it. Sometimes God cracks a door and lets you see your future before you’re ready to walk through it. Why does he do that? First, if God showed you all your future at once,it would scare you. You’d take one look and say, “Oh no, God wants me to do that?” You’re simply not ready right now to see everything God wants to do through you. God also wants to keep you close to him as you trust him to do what he is calling you to do. It’s like he writes his plan for you on a scroll. You unroll the scroll a bit and do what he says. Then you unroll a bit more, and he gives you a little more of the vision. You’re not the first leader God has let glimpse the future long before it’s become reality. In fact, he has done that over and over again throughout history. Centuries ago, God gave Habakkuk a vision for Israel and then told him: “But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!” (Habakkuk 2:3 TLB). God wasn’t late for Habakkuk. He won’t be overdue when it comes to his vision for your life either. God’s timing is perfect. God is always at work, lining up everything according to his plan. God can do more in five minutes on his timing, than you can do in 50 years on yours. While you wait, God has something important for you to do. You're supposed to be preparing by learning. So what do you need to learn while you’re waiting on God’s vision for your life to be fulfilled? Learn discernment. You need to learn which doors to walk through and which ones to walk past so you can avoid wasting time, money, and energy as you pursue God’s vision for your ministry. Paul writes to the church of Philippi: “This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ” (Philippians 1:9-10 NIV). God wants you to grow in your love for others, but he wants you to do that with both knowledge and discernment so you’ll make the right choices about the doors he puts in front of you. Learn courage. You may already know the right choices to make about the doors God has placed before you, but you need to grow in your courage. You don’t have the faith right now to take the right step. Pastor, it’s not enough to know what to do. You need the courage to actually do what the Lord is calling you to do. Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s stepping out in faith despite your fear. When Solomon received the assignment of building the temple, David gave him some advice:“Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He won’t leave you or abandon you until all the work for the service of the Lord’s house is finished” (1 Chronicles 28:20 CSB). I’ve been scared about every single important decision in my life, but I decided long ago not to let fear dominate my life. So I have constantly acted contrary to my fear. God doesn’t sponsor flops. If he gives you the vision, you have nothing to worry about. Learn to open doors for others. Waiting isn’t easy. When you have a glimpse of something God wants to do through your life, you want it now. But you’re not the only one waiting. Look around in your ministry, and you’ll see other people waiting for their own open doors. Often, they will have doors in front of them you can help open. As often as you can, learn to open those doors. Love other people. Care about how God will use them. God will put people in your life to do the same for you. Don’t waste your waiting time. Let God help you grow into the leader he wants you to be on the other side of the door.

6 Ways Leaders Need to Show Discipline

Great leaders have at least one common denominator: personal discipline. Take the Apostle Paul as an example. He had tremendous self-control. He talks about it in this passage: “Don’t you realize that everyone who runs in a race runs to win, but only one runner gets the prize? Run like them, so that you can win. Everyone who enters an athletic contest goes into strict training. They do it to win a temporary crown, but we do it to win one that will be permanent” (1 Corinthians 9:24-25 GW). Paul wanted to be successful and understood he couldn’t live haphazardly and accomplish what God called him to do. He showed self-discipline throughout his ministry, and so should we. Here are six specific areas of our lives where leaders need to show self-discipline. Their mood: Most great things in the world are achieved by those who don’t feel like doing them. The Bible says, “A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls” (Proverb 25:28 TLB). Without discipline, you’re at the mercy of your moods. You’re without defense and a helpless victim of your emotions. Their words: Proverbs 13:3 says, “Whoever controls his mouth protects his own life. Whoever has a big mouth comes to ruin” (GW). Leaders who say the wrong things at the wrong time can expect problems. Their reactions: The Bible says, “If you are sensible, you will control your temper. When someone wrongs you, it is a great virtue to ignore it” (Proverbs 19:11 GNT). Leaders don’t fly off the handle even when provoked. When you get angry because of someone else, you’re letting that person have control over you. A disciplined person acts rather than reacts. Their schedule: We all have the same amount of time—168 hours a week. But leaders know how to use their time effectively. Ephesians 5:15-16 says, “Live life, then, with a due sense of responsibility . . . Make the best use of your time” (PHILLIPS). Discipline is the reason some people get more done than others. You don’t have time to do everything as a leader, so you need to schedule your priorities. If you don’t decide how you’ll spend your time, others will decide for you. Their money: Leaders must live within their means. The way you manage the resources God gives you is a glimpse into how you’ll manage the resources of others. Luke 16:10 says, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with a lot. Whoever is dishonest with very little is dishonest with a lot” (GW). Their health: For many of us, our bodies need more exercise, more rest, and fewer calories. Proverbs 23:2 says, “If you have a big appetite, restrain yourself” (GNT). Leadership is a marathon. If you want to go the distance, treat your body with respect. The rewards of a disciplined life go well beyond your ministry. You’ll have less stress and less debt, and you’ll live longer. But most importantly, you’ll be more ready to be used by God. The disciplines you establish today will determine your future.

The Fallacy of One-Size-Fits-All Discipleship

You can mass produce many things—cars, furniture, plastic bottles, etc.—but you can’t mass produce disciples. One-size-fits-all simply doesn’t work when you’re trying to help people become more like Jesus. God wired each of us with a unique SHAPE. The Bible says, “You shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13 MSG). Our creator specially designed each and every one of us. The unique ways God made us affect everything about us—including how we fulfill God’s purposes. SHAPE is an acrostic that describes our uniqueness. God gave us Spiritual gifts, Heart (passions), Abilities, Personality, and Experiences. No one else in the world has the same mix of those five attributes as you do. A person’s God-given SHAPE helps them identify where they can best serve the body of Christ. But our uniqueness is about much more than how we serve. In fact, our SHAPE affects how we worship, fellowship, evangelize—and how we grow. There’s a myth that maturity is measured by how much Bible knowledge you have. Of course, that’s a factor in maturity, but it’s not the only one. We all know someone who’s a veritable storehouse of Bible knowledge yet is just downright mean. God’s Word hasn’t made it into their character. If maturity was just about learning as much of the Bible as possible, then we might all grow in the same ways. But people grow differently. Some people learn by listening. If they hear it, they get it. Others learn through reading. Still, others grow best when they’re discussing truth with other believers. We also know that many people grow by rolling up their sleeves and getting to work. Don’t give them the latest book on prayer; pray with them. Give them opportunities to serve. That’s how they grow. The problem is that most of our churches only teach in one way. They expect everyone to grow through listening to someone talk. Auditory learners love that. But not everyone is an auditory learner. It’s no accident that most churches have more women in discussion groups than men. Many women like to discuss. Many men like to act. They’re ready for action. There’s nothing wrong with either of those preferences. It’s how God wired them. So, as you build a discipleship program in your church, you have to understand that the best way to help the most people grow is through multiple reinforcements. That’s why I strongly believe in spiritual-growth campaigns. These short-term campaigns have multiple components, such as devotional reading, small group discussion, memory verses, ministry projects, and more. You teach the same truth through hearing it, reading it, talking about it, discussing it, doing it, and memorizing it. You do it all at once. If you’re not using spiritual growth campaigns, I recommend giving it a try. As you engage them in different ways, you’ll see people who have stalled spiritually for years start growing. Throughout the years at Saddleback, we’ve used several tools to help people grow through the unique ways God wired them. For example, SHAPE interviews help our members discover their God-given design so they can find ministry fits in the church. Not only does this get people connected to ministries, but it also helps them find out more about themselves so they can grow according to their SHAPE. Another tool we’ve used is a spiritual health assessment, where you can evaluate your growth progress. The Bible tells us to examine ourselves. This tool gives people a tangible way to look into their spiritual lives. We’ve found this tool helps just about everyone, but it’s particularly good for those God wired to be more introspective. Also, to help people who particularly enjoy being in nature, we created a prayer garden, where they can go to pray after every service. But the tools aren’t as important as the principle. You can’t make cookie-cutter disciples. Though we all go through a discipleship process, everyone grows in different ways and at different rates. Look for ways to expand the opportunities for people to grow in the unique ways God has wired them.