Youth seminar 2008: Theme: Youth and Family
Honor Your Parents
Introduction: Is it not a real blessing indeed to have caring parents when some unfortunate orphan or abandoned kid somewhere never saw the face of a father or mother since they were born
Parents are indeed a blessing, and if you have one be it biological or adopted, thank God that there is someone who cares for your well being.
The Bible says we must honor our parents and God will reward us with long life.
“Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus.20:12)
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“Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with promise” (Eph.6:2)
Now you say if someone has wicked parents, uncaring or arrogant parents, should he still honor them, how,
How you can honor your parents.
You must recognize Gods established order in the family and humbly accept your position and role as a child in that family:
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the Lord of the Church, and is the savior of the body” (Eph.5:23)
“Wives submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord
Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter towards them,
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord” Col.3:18-20)
Family hierarchy of management is therefore through God the Father, through His Son Jesus Christ, through the father or head of the house, to his wife (the mother of the house) and to the children, you cannot interchange those roles even a bit.
Family roles as streamlined by God is: Husband (your earthly father) to love his wife (your mother) and wives to submit to their husbands, the Children (you) have to obey your parents (both father and mother)
Therefore you can honor your parents by:
1. Obey their Instructions in the Lord.
“Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians.6:1)
When you have godly parents, it is their God ordained role to instruct you in the Lord, therefore obey them diligently. (Prov.22: 6, Deut 6:6-7)
When you obey them remember it is for your own good “Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear me and always keep my commandments , that it might be well with them and with their children for ever” (Deut.15:29)
(Little children are always curious to touch a burning candle however much the mother tries to retain him, but after getting burnt they get to know that the prohibition was for their own good and they grow up fearing fire)
Remember no parent would prohibit you from enjoying what is good neither will a lovely parent allow you to do what will hurt your future.
Out right rebellion to your parents is heart breaking and Moses actually prescribed stoning for an obstinate son who could no longer heed their father (Deut.21:18-21)
We however live in a time of grace; God is patient with us and gives us time to repent.
Some however are unlucky to have ungodly parents who would want to abuse their children sexually and emotionally, such should not drive you away from home but you should seek Godly counsel from a Spiritual leader who can help you to cope or tackle such evil situations. “Run to God not away to the wild world”
2. Respect their decisions and Opinions:
Most times because of the generation gap, it’s not easy for a young person to understand things from the perspective of the older generation. Hence when parents give opinions contrary to our world view, we see them as old fashioned adults who are not abreast with modern thinking and lifestyle.
However, you must consider the experience of your parents and trust that their opinions and decisions are for your own good.
Many young people are wondering today whether parents should decide on what friends they should keep company with, choice of marital partner, profession, colleges, jobs etc.
However we can learn from the Bible that honoring their decisions in such matters can be very helpful and help us avoid disappointments and pit falls in life. Let us look at a few examples:
I) Jacob respected his parent s decision that he should not marry one of the Canaanite girls but Esau did the opposite. Hence Jacob was more blessed. “ Then Isaac called Jacob and blessed him, and charged him , and said to him, you shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan , Arise go to Padam Aran, to the house of Bethuel, your mothers father, and take yourself a wife from there of the daughters of Laban your mothers brother” (Gen. 27:46-28:2) That was the parents opinion concerning their sons marriage because they knew inter marriage with pagans was against Gods will and would not bring glory to God and happiness in the family “Do not be unequally yoked to an unbeliever” (2Cor.6:14) How did Esau view such opinion of his parents “ Also Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan did not please his father Isaac, so Esau went to Ishmael and took Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abrahams son , the sister of Nebajoth to be his wife in addition to the wives he had” (Gen 28:1-3)
II) The issue of his sons marriage was so important to Abraham that before he died, Abraham had to make his servant swear by a terrible oath that he would not take a bride for Isaac from the land of Canaan (Gen.24:1-3)
III) When Samson disregarded his parents counsel advising him against marrying a Philistine girl, his marriage hit the rocks right from start and he ended up losing his sweet heart to the best man (Judges 14)
3. Protect them despite their weaknesses. Its true with age, weaknesses may appear in intellectual and physical faculties, but you should be the last person to expose them to shame and frustrations. Know that they are still your parents irregardless of their weaknesses. We see a very shameful scene in the Bible “Noah became drunk and lay naked, one of his sons just laughed at him, while the other two could not afford to look at their father’s nakedness but covered him. The younger son was cursed for dishonoring his father at a time when he should have protected him (Gen.9:20-25) In another unfortunate incident in the Bible, Absalom capitalized on his father King David’s weak points and used it to bring him down in a very humiliating manner (2Sam 15) Such an evil scheme did not bring him a lasting blessing as he never enjoyed the throne at all but died a gruesome death within a very short time. Remember “He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach” (Prov.19:20) “Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness” (Prov.20:20)
4. Protect the company reputation by maintaining a good legacy.
“The memory of the righteous is blessed, but the name of the wicked will rot” (Prov.10:7)
Bad behavior makes family reputation to stink. Everyone will shun the family, people will fear to marry from such a family neither will other people be willing to give their daughters in marriage to sons in that family.
In the Bible, Jacobs sons Simeon and Levi broke their fathers heart by their violent behavior making the family reputation to stink in the neighborhood and their father was so afraid that he had to run from the place because of the sons behavior (Gen.34:25-31) The old man still remembered the damage caused to his reputation by these boys that on his death bed he still shunned such behavior and pronounced a curse on them rather than a blessing (Gen.49:5-7)
Timothy maintained a very good reputation of his family upbringing and Paul openly acknowledged it “When I call to remembrance , the genuine faith that is in you , which dwelt first in your grand mother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also” (2Tim.1:5)
What a legacy, we as servants of God should believe God for a Godly legacy, a generation of sons and grandsons who shall serve the Lord with diligence.
5. Be morally stable:
In the Bible we see a painful incident of Reuben a first born of Jacob sleeping with one of his fathers concubines (Gen.35:22) This immoral act really broke Jacobs heart and he kept it in his heart up to his death bed when he pronounced a terrible curse upon Reuben “Reuben you are my first born, my might and beginning of my strength , the Excellency of dignity, and the Excellency of power, unstable as water , you shall not excel, because you went up to your fathers bed and defiled it, he went up to my couch” (Gen.49:3-4)
Reuben lost his position of Excellency as a first born due to his unstable sexual life, Simeon and Levi his followers also lost because of their violent behavior and the family blessing and legacy instead fell upon Judah, the fourth born.
In Uganda there is a serious law on defilement where by boys who sleep with girls under eighteen can be locked up in jail for a period of up to seven years and in some cases parents have to pay big fines to the girls parents in order to settle the matter out of court in order to prevent their sons, some of them still secondary school students from languishing in jail and destroying their future. You can easily see the strain on the weary faces of such parents as they experience the burden of their son’s immoral life style.
If you read Proverbs Chapter 5 and 7, you will find lots of warning by Solomon to young men on the danger of running after a harlot and having loose zips.
6. Care for them in old age and grant them a decent burial.
In my country, the reason why many barren women and childless men are so heart broken is because of their great worries for the future as they wonder who would take care for them in old age and arrange for their decent burial. It’s the duty of sons and daughters to ensure that is done.
We see a lot of good models in the Bible:
I) The sons of Abraham, Ishmael and Isaac honored him with a decent burial (Gen.25:8-9) Remember Abraham had earlier sent away Ishmael with his mother at the prompting of Sarah, but Ishmael never took the matter personal and shunned his father even at death. This is a great challenge to some people who after rebelling from parents can even declare to the world that they are orphans; both parents are dead when the opposite is true.
II) The sons of Isaac, Esau and Jacob honored him with decent burial (Gen.35:29) Remember these two brothers had really been foes, but the death of their father brought unity at least once.
III) The sons of Jacob embalmed his body and honored his will while still alive to be buried in Canaan., it was an elaborate funeral with deep mourning even by the Egyptians (Gen.49:33- 50:3,9-14)
7 Defend him and make him feel secure.
When some one is old, they need security, they want to have the secure feeling that my sons are behind me, and no one will just come and fool me around. The Bible says he will boldly face his enemies at the gates knowing that his sons are there to provide a back up
(Psalms 127:3-5, 128:3)
Lets us wrap up this discourse by looking at the positive results of honoring parents.
What are the results of honoring parents?
Sounds good and feels good isn’t it, can we pray together for such privileges to be accorded to our families and posterity as well.
Prayer.
Dear Father, God almighty, I come humbly before you in the blessed name of Jesus Christ, surrendering my own life, thoughts and will to you. I am so grateful that you have blessed me and settled me in a family unit, as your word declares in Psalms 68:6 that “God sets the solitary in families, He brings out those who are bound into prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a dry land”
I declare my willingness to play my God ordained role in my family by honoring my parents in the best way I can, with your help. Lord help me to change so that I can be a source of blessing and joy to my parents rather than the cause of their sorrow, pain and agony.
Help me to put up with their imperfections and still take shelter and refuge under them in my times of great need. Grant wisdom unto my parents to help me be the best child they ever dreamed to be and the best Christian you desire me to be.
I make a commitment to walk with God all my life and I commit my future wholly to God. I declare now that I am a blessed child, I have a blessed dad, I have a blessed mum, I have a blessed future and I shall have a blessed family in due time, blessed children, blessed grand children, blessed career, a long peace full life on earth and a decent burial by my children and grand children, I pray all this by faith in the matchless name of Jesus. Shout Amen, thank you Jesus.
By Pastor Alfred Odur
Manna of Heaven Ministries, P.o box 697, Lira Uganda.
Email: oduralfred/
mannaohobuto